Worst gig ever

Ryan Barwin · Post by **Ryan Barwin** » 27 Jun 2010 3:13 pm

I've done some pretty bad gigs, but the gig I played yesterday has to be one of worst gig I've ever played.

So the gig was at "Poultry Fest" in a small town. I didn't know much about it, but I trusted the guy who booked it, since he's always booked decent gigs in the past. After driving an hour to get there, I was told that I wasn't getting paid for it, and that they'd shortened the set down to 45 minutes, including set-up time. It was raining heavily. The stage was tiny, and set up in the parking lot of a bank, in the town's one intersection. The first band playing was a bunch of 10 year old kids playing awful versions of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" and some other covers. Then a ventriloquist did a set. Then we were on. They got the name of the band wrong, when they introduced us. The sound was terrible, there were no monitors, and the singer and guitarist got rained on for the whole set because the stage wasn't totally covered. I was glad when it was over and I could get out of there!

Anyone else got a story about the worst gig you've played?

Stan Schober · Post by **Stan Schober** » 27 Jun 2010 3:16 pm

Suffice it to say that the ENTIRE audience consisted of one drunk and one goat.

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 27 Jun 2010 3:36 pm

After driving an hour to get there, I was told that I wasn't getting paid for it

At that point, all they would have seen was the glow of my tail lights fading away through the rain ....

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 27 Jun 2010 3:52 pm

Sounds like all my gigs!

Chris Dorch · Post by **Chris Dorch** » 27 Jun 2010 4:54 pm

Yep.. played at a "festival" that the "promoters" did ZERO advertising... Drove 1.5 hours.. Played to the soundman and his girlfriend.. Since noone showed up to the "festival" getting payment was dodgy... Stage had a wasps nest above it... Can you imagine what the sound waves did to a hive of wasps?!?

'Nuff said...

Stu Schulman · Post by **Stu Schulman** » 27 Jun 2010 5:55 pm

I am intrigued by ventriloquists!There have been so many crappy gigs...the worst are the ones in the woods and infested with mosquitoes.

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 27 Jun 2010 7:09 pm

I am intrigued by ventriloquists!

Then you should like this one, Stu.

Ryan Barwin · Post by **Ryan Barwin** » 27 Jun 2010 8:28 pm

I forgot to mention the guy in the chicken costume walking through the (very small) audience.

Stu Schulman · Post by **Stu Schulman** » 27 Jun 2010 8:40 pm

Barry,Ya kilt me!

Asa Brosius · Post by **Asa Brosius** » 27 Jun 2010 8:41 pm

here are a few good ones-great private party on an old porch in virgina-so old it flexed severely with every bass kick, as did my intonation. a pretty cool rhythmic effect, if i was actually going for it.
one was a gorgeous little spot in hattiesburg, ms, the thirsty hippo, but the day before mardi gras. played for the bartender and girlfriend (but we had a great jam/practice which is hard while on tour).
playing the last night of indoor smoking in the state of ms (meridian)-playing for onion rings at a tiny chain restaurant in morgantown, wv - lining up a five piece almost single file (player/amp/player/amp) due to space considerations at a tiny bar in baltimore- the list goes on.

asa

Eric West · Post by **Eric West** » 27 Jun 2010 9:13 pm

Hey. I've played gigs that made that one look like a chauffered, red carpet, house sound gig at the Ryman..

You gotta pay your dues..

EJL

Actually I think it's a tossup.

I played a "Robin Hood Festival" in Sherwood OR with it raining so hard and the stage so wet that we all got bit every time we touched anything. Shure PA no monitors. I had a blue tarp over my head that was leaking and was full of about 300 lbs of water. I dunno what kept it from breaking, but my ProIII got wet too. We did get paid I guess.

Another one was a Hallowen/Birthday party at a Mule farm in Ridgefield WA some years ago. They said it was in a heated barn. I figured, "Fine, I'll wear a dress." Well the only one my wife had that would fit was a "summer dress". The colors were right, but somehow I wasn't counting on it being 40F out...

The "Heated barn" wasn't. My fingers, knees and winkie were about frozen. The "Heaters" were propane crop smudges that would have set my dress on fire, and weren't near the bandstand anyway.. I tried heating my bar and fingers in hot coffee but they stayed numb, and cooled the coffee off too fast...

Then, as we took the first break, the guys daughter got up drunk and harrassed and told the "crowd" how much she hated them all for 'not having anybody show up". Well after another couple sets we tore down, and I sat in the car freezing until they tracked down the "host" and got our money.....

I dunno. There are several that I remember that were even worse, but I don't want to think about them tonight. Maybe I'll edit another one in about Grays Harbor or the Moose in Astoria.... OK Moose in Astoria sometime in 1980.

I showed up with no gas to get home, played with the late Chuck Williams. It was a Danny Shields' gig that he couldn't make. The guy drank a pint of Jack before we were off the stage for the first set. After the Second set we got "fired". Well, I couldn't go home, so I slept under a tarp under the Moose with my dog. Next morning it turns out that we were "unfired". I don't remember how I spent the day but we played all night, I got paid and drove 70 miles home. I didn't take any of Danny's gigs again.

Oi, then there was Pine Grove...

MOre later I guess.

Jerry Eilander · Post by **Jerry Eilander** » 27 Jun 2010 10:32 pm

6 Weeks ago.
in the middle of a padock.
no drummer, a generator that was parked 6 meters away ,one of those bigones on a traler.
made a constant humm, also no cover ,no tent no tarp ,no nothing.
then the "dew" came about 8 o,clock,
I had towels all over the steel,evrything got wet.
music sheets stuck togeter, what a mess.
But got payed more than Quoted, and was home before 12,
Cheers Jerry

Ben Jones · Post by **Ben Jones** » 28 Jun 2010 6:34 am

KNoxville Tennesee. one guy at the bar asked if i wanted to see a dead body, then another guy told my band manager, who happens to be jewish, that we werent gonna get paid because the owner was a filthy jew. woulda left but had nowhere to go and needed our guarantee to get to the next town, which we got.

broke my arm once, in wisconsin. jumped up on a table to take a guitar solo and slipped on a pitcher of beer.

i think the knoxville gig was actually worse than the broken arm, at least that was fun for a few seconds

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 28 Jun 2010 9:32 am

Ryan,Lets see if I've got this right. After driving over an hour to get to a gig and you were told you were NOT getting paid, and you stayed

YOU BETCHA,DYK?BC.

David Griffin · Post by **David Griffin** » 28 Jun 2010 10:23 am

Ryan: I feel your pain.Outdoor gigs are almost always a pain in the posterior! I played a Co. picnic a coupla weeks ago & we sat around in the heat & humidity for an hour & a half while they tried to get power to the stage.When we did finally get power we played about 20 minutes & it came a deluge. Luckily we saw it coming & got everything under cover before it hit.This last weekend we played another outdoor gig for a wedding & it rained so we abandoned the stage (a flatbed trailer that wasn't level!)& continued in a garage.They had a HUGE fan to keep us cool but unfortunately the fan had a loud squeak that was pitched right between A & Ab! Made playing anything in A quite an adventure! It's amazing what we go thru to try to play our chosen instrument!

Roger Crawford · Post by **Roger Crawford** » 28 Jun 2010 10:53 am

I got a call to "fill in" for a steel man that was going to be out of town. He emailed me a set list and keys so I would know what songs were going to be done. Some I had heard but never played, so I boned up on some intros and turn-arounds just in case. It was an hours drive to the gig. I'm tuning up in the back stage area when the singer arrives, carrying his accoustic guitar (a Martin that was hideously decorated in black and pink fabric and sequines!). On his next trip in, he brought in a TV set. I asked him if we were going to watch a movie. I was kidding, but he wasn't when he said he was going to do a few kareoke tunes. RED LIGHT!!! When the rest of the band arrived(a drummer) we were ready to go. Yep, just the three of us. We struggled through an instrumental that consisted of a lot of frailing on that ugly Martin (did I mention it matched his outfit???). He then tells the drummer and I that he's going to do the kareoke thing and would call us back up shortly. An hour later, we're called back to play one last song. Then he thanked us for donating our time. Thank goodness for caller ID, I'll never answer a call from him again.

Dale Bessant · Post by **Dale Bessant** » 28 Jun 2010 11:20 am

Sounds like a "Spinal Tap" scene in the movie...

Dick Wood · Post by **Dick Wood** » 28 Jun 2010 11:59 am

While Cold Gigs usually top my list of bad jobs I have to say the worst was just a few years ago where I played outside and wound up with the worst case of Chiggers you have ever seen.

Took around three weeks to get rid of them.

Jim Simon · Post by **Jim Simon** » 28 Jun 2010 2:48 pm

Played the "Costa Ride" at their mid way cattle camp. Family, neighbors, friends, and hands moved their hurt down from the hills. This camp was midway. I had to drive through 11 locked gates to get to the camp. Each gate required getting out to unlock and open then drive through and get out to close and lock. One small problem! Tarantula mating season. The road (trail) was crawling with them. Was sure that I had carried one in on my pant leg and it was under the seat of my truck. FOR YEARS.

Skip Cole · Post by **Skip Cole** » 28 Jun 2010 9:29 pm

This is a very entertaining topic , don't stop now , guys.

Thanks , i needed that.

Skip

Bill Howard · Post by **Bill Howard** » 29 Jun 2010 6:24 am

I got a call form a fairly young guy who said he played traditional country I got to the VFW when the patrons saw my Steel someone yelled a "Hawaiian Steel GITAR We're gunna have Fun ta nite",I thought it was going to be a fairly good night until the Keyboard played showed up, ALMOST DRUNK, this was a pretty small place I noticed the PA system an 18" Sub, 2 15's and a ten EACH SIDE of stage,an Old Shure vocal master would have blown this place apart.
Sound guy said I got 8000 WATTS!. The Keyboard hooked into this massive PA,his first note cracked the formica on my Franklin(not really but almost).
By Second set K board player was totally sloshed.
the Drummer was playing with Baseball Bats on a PREMIUM set of Ludwigs the loudest Drums I ever heard BEFORE they were MIKED!. BASS Player?, 700 Watts and 2 15's and 4 10's

THe Guitar player had a little Fender 90 DSL barley heard him).When a note was hit on the drums it would take your breath,smae for Bass,then After 3rd set the gloves were off that Key player CRANKED it FULL BLAST,the Crownd was holding their EARS,I held my Bar and sshowed my Wife I was not playing they were making enough NOISE for ALL,We get done I got Paid band leader wanted to make me Band Manager,OK "give me the Kb Players Phone number",WHY?, SO I CAN FIRE HIM!, I never went back,My Ears rang solid for 3 or 4 days

Dave Harmonson · Post by **Dave Harmonson** » 29 Jun 2010 10:18 am

Hard to narrow down to the worst, but here's a couple of dooseys.
Back around '72 a friend of mine booked a coffee house gig in Portland OR for four of us who each played acoustic guitar. We would each do some solos and various combination of duos and trios. We were driving down from Tacoma WA about 3 hours north in a Ford pick-up with a canopy and no back window in the winter time. Pouring down rain and two of us in the truck bed. When we just get across the OR-WA border our yahoo friend who is driving runs out of gas.
We sent two off to get gas and then go and fill up and when the gas station attendant checks the oil like they used to he comes back to show the dip stick and says "you guys aren't planning on driving far with this oil are you?" Total crud on the stick. So now we're getting an oil change at the gas station.
Somehow we still get to the gig on time where we're making the door. $1.00 cover and we pull in 5 bucks.
And know that wasn't good money even back then.
#2. One time in '79 I was playing in a travelling band. We played a week in Lewiston ID and our next one is Cheyenne WY. 1000 miles to go from Sat. night to Monday. Summer time and it's around 100F all the way across Montana. Get to Cheyenne and the club holds around 500 and we play 2 nights for about 4 customers a night.
#3. Western round-up sale for a local car dealership. We get there and they tell us we're playing on the roof. Two ladders side by side to load gear and then play in the sun standing on a hot tar roof. At least they paid us well for that one, but we should have gotten some hazard pay as well.
"Send my bags to Nashville porter Lord I love the road." Larry Gatlin

John Ummel · Post by **John Ummel** » 29 Jun 2010 10:48 am

Hey Bill H, I think I've played with that same drummer before!
CD: was that "Lance Romance" on the road to Wyo?
I played 6 nights/wk for a month in Casper (Beacon Club) back in mid 70's. ET & Texas Troub's did a show one Sunday. Driving back from Casper to Spokane I got the "late shift" (across the mts when everyone else asleep, rolled down the window and kept slapping myself to stay awake)

Dave Harmonson · Post by **Dave Harmonson** » 29 Jun 2010 12:04 pm

Johhny, that was Lance Romance indeed. We mostly had good gigs, but you gotta have a few bad ones to know the difference.

Ronnie Boettcher · Post by **Ronnie Boettcher** » 29 Jun 2010 1:03 pm

I was very selective for most gigs, but. One was playing at a old bar, basementless too, No bandstand, and just set up next to the ladies room. Well about the second set, Everytime a female used the room, when the toilet flushed,(the leak was under the toilet, not coming over the top) it all ran onto the floor, and under the wall. And yes the floor was pitched a little and all the toilet flushings came running across the floor, through where we were set up. lucky for rubber boots on the steel legs, but we all had wet shoes. By the end of the night, you know what the water-tempered wetness smelled like.

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