| Author |
Topic: For Eric West |
Joe Drivdahl
From:
Montana, USA
|
Posted 4 Jan 2004 11:18 pm |
|
Eric,
I couldn't respond to your diatribe in the proper thread because it had been closed.
I would like to encourage you to pursue your writing career. I think you got a future there, son... Suggestions: More use of metaphor and figurative language to build your images; it's all about imagery. (as I've been told, time and time again).
Good Luck,
Joe |
|
|
|
Eric West
From:
Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.
|
Posted 4 Jan 2004 11:51 pm
|
|
Joe. I thank you. 
I suppose I could include a few more trees and bushes, and some scenes out of the "Big Rock Candy Mountain" (my all time favorite for mental imagery).
I liked the one where I'm retired on a small polynesian island, riding my panhead around a road made from beach tar and cocoanut shells, drinking moderately, smoking Kona Gold™, speaking only in haiku, and playing the old Oahu my Grandma gave me while I fix bicycles for gas, food, and Mateus Rose money..
I'm not sure what a metaphor is but the definition I go by is "Metaphor: the process of describing one thing as if it were another. ... "
I think I do too much of that already...
I describe most things as if they are the way I view them, when in reality, they are somewhat different.
Actually I've met a couple screenplay writers that have encouraged me, as most screenplays are around a hundred pages. I've got some *great* ideas..
I don't think it would be any more rewarding than working heavy construction projects for and with violent and dangerous equipment and people and relaxing by playing in Country Bands with varying mixtures of semi-functional people, for increasingly discourteous audiences.
Other than having a loss of the input from the "construction" end, I have been bemused no end by the seven or eight bands I've worked with this year. Only three of them are "left", so I've done my job right.. and three more are "in my sights"..
It's funny that this should come from Montana, as my step son(s) are building multi million dollar "lodges" at the Yellowstone Club up there, and they say that work is going great guns.
I've got several possibilities I'm looking into.
My studies in literation are from mostly civil war correspondence, modern poets like Brautigan, and Behand, and the Musician's Friend Catalog. Then there's my apprenticeship to Jody Carver..
We'll see.( A least I didn't start this post with "Well.")....
I'm not going to quit my day OR my night job.
EJL
{Edited afterthought: Is the tap water still yellow up there in Glendive? I remember it being that way in my early years' trips through there..)
[This message was edited by Eric West on 04 January 2004 at 11:58 PM.] |
|
|
|
Joe Drivdahl
From:
Montana, USA
|
Posted 5 Jan 2004 12:34 am
|
|
Nope. No more yellow water. They finally got them to quit peeing in the river upstream in Miles City and Billing, but you wouldn't belive the smell in the spring when the river floods the lagoon. It is definately worth the price of admission.
As I remember it from my English training, a metaphor is the comparison of two unlike things, such as, "the early morning sun turned the grass to barley as we motored by on our Harley's; mine shaking between my legs like a wh*re in church." The latter is actually a simile because of the use of "like" or "as." So there's that for what its worth ($39.95 or so depending on market fluctuation).
Its cold here in Montana tonight, Eric. Negative 20 something and still falling. Too fun!
Joe
|
|
|
|
Joey Ace
From:
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
|
|
|
|
b0b
From:
Cloverdale, CA, USA
|
Posted 5 Jan 2004 1:29 pm
|
|
Don't encourage him, guys.  |
|
|
|
Eric West
From:
Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.
|
|
|
|
Tom Olson
From:
Spokane, WA
|
Posted 6 Jan 2004 11:50 am
|
|
". . . not unlike an unwary volunteer fireman grabbing the can marked "Water", and throwing it on a smouldering slash pile set afire too late in the season, an realising that it was a flammable liquid as it left his hands..."
That's pretty good
But how about this -- . . . not unlike the proverbial fourth monkey, trying in vain to put the stopper back into the south end of the swine . . . but alas, finally realizing it was to no avail, as the volume of the flow was unstoppable . . . it kept coming and coming . . . |
|
|
|
Joe Drivdahl
From:
Montana, USA
|
Posted 6 Jan 2004 2:23 pm
|
|
b0b,
As an educator, I would be remiss if I did not take advantage of an opportunity to encourage talent.
Eric,
Yeah that's it! Now you're creating vivid images. Tom, I liked your use of metaphor too, Damn I'm a good teacher...
Joey, Yeah those are good ones. I especially like the sound of thunder compared to the kicking of an old spring reverb amplifier. I can just hear that.
Joe.[This message was edited by Joe Drivdahl on 06 January 2004 at 02:28 PM.] |
|
|
|
Eric West
From:
Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.
|
Posted 6 Jan 2004 2:56 pm
|
|
Or possibly....
b0b nursed his sore mouse-thumb after perusing another of the myriad of semi-literate "Uncle Eric Stories" for user agreement violations, possible gems of wisdom, or indeed sanity..
He realised at that moment that his opposable digit was not unlike a certain private part of a lower primate after yet another futile session of trying to mate with a pointed, oblong, manmade object, correctly used for hominidal athletic contests.
Tom on the other hand, pondered another trip down East Trent through the valley searching in vain for another detached head, knowing full well that the Green River killer wasn't the REAL Spokane Ripper..... He doesn't even know why he looks, but it is a long time compulsion....
Mr. Drivdahls class collectively hoped that another snow day wouldn't keep them from yet another "What's Wrong: A Study in Blog Authors" class. Mr D, OTOH was hoping that his RV wouldn't fall through the ice on the lake, should a sudden thaw happen like it did last year..
EJL |
|
|
|
Nathan Delacretaz
From:
Austin, Texas, USA
|
Posted 6 Jan 2004 6:15 pm
|
|
Yep, I have noticed Eric's and others' penchant for wordsmithing, and as the son of an award-winning English teacher (a son who didn't go into the family business, however), I have to say I'm glad to [finally] be spending cyber-time with musicians who are worth their literary and grammatical salt! (see Mom, music's not all about piercings and misspelled tattoos!)...
Eric, maybe you could help me with my next musical project, a revue called "The Lesser of Two Elvis", which will feature two steel guitarists doing instrumental Presley and Costello medlies, each one dressed like a respective Elvis...
|
|
|
|
Joe Drivdahl
From:
Montana, USA
|
Posted 6 Jan 2004 11:16 pm
|
|
Or...
How about the single-sentence approach:
Yes it happens every year; some years more spectacularly than others, but each year, along about mid-March, when the ice begins to melt, the river begins to run high, and ice jams clog the flow, causing huge ice slabs appearing like the foundatations of large buildings to break free and be thrust upon one another, or deposited along the bank, tearing down fences, and buildings that were built too close to the river in the first place, while others just slam-dance their way down the mosh pit river clearing the bank of all trees and rocks like the blade of a bulldozer, some carrying livestock, wildlife, or some poor, unsuspecting ice-fisherman's R.V. on their backs as if they were dare devils on Mother Nature's roller coaster ride from Hell.
Nathan, shouldn't that be the lesser of two "Elvi?"
jd[This message was edited by Joe Drivdahl on 06 January 2004 at 11:31 PM.] |
|
|
|
Eric West
From:
Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.
|
Posted 7 Jan 2004 12:23 am
|
|
Mr D. That's just a "pup" compared to the singles I've come up with.. I was doing 500 word sentences before I was 40. Way before I started studying with Mr Carver.
Lately some of the abuse I've encountered by "Line Dancers" in the Truck Stop I play at remind me of those huge brush wads that float down the Willamette in the spring. Everybody knows that the river and the low water mark is used as a "garbage can" by farmers and ranchers. What gives them away is that you can see fresh cut limbs sticking out of the brush wads. What gives the dancers away is that their bellies are hanging out and they're drunk. That's just the "gals".
-Many literary techniques, I've found useful too.
Short, improperly chopped up paragraphs are the best for keeping people from skimming your posts.
Sometimes, a loose semi-concious syllabic count acts as a hypnotic tool as well.
Prime numbers and repetitive patterns grab the mind.- (13/23/23/13)
Steel playing, phrasing, repetition, and presentation are very similar.
I look at "back up" ( Pedal Steel) as the "running back talk" we used to do under our breaths in english class. Doing it just quiet enough to keep old Mrs Simmons from climbing out of her heavily made up skin, and just loud enough to guarantee a spot in the rubber room at the senior home..
Then there are lines that as they go on, get smaller physically.
They "aim" the "victims'" mind toward your conclusion.
They anticipate a short concluding thought.
When it comes, it's more prominent.
Ethically Questionable?
You tell me.
I dunno.
EJL
|
|
|
|
Nathan Delacretaz
From:
Austin, Texas, USA
|
Posted 7 Jan 2004 6:39 am
|
|
Joe: surely you'll grant me exemption from the more proper "Elvi" to fully exploit the impact of misspelling "Evils", eh?
Eric: it occurred to me that since the subject of this post is your prose and verse, "The Lesser..." could not be instrumental, alas. See why I didn't go into teaching? |
|
|
|
Joe Drivdahl
From:
Montana, USA
|
Posted 7 Jan 2004 9:46 am
|
|
Nathan,
You are right. I didn't notice your play on words: Elvis and Evils. Duh!
Damn computers have ruined my intuitiveishness.
Eric,
After I went to bed last night, I thought of ways I could have doubled the length of that sentence, by describing the sound of a river when it goes out like that. It is astonishingly loud with those huge ice chunks slamming into each other and uprooting trees, and crashing into bridges.
When I think of long sentences, Charles Dickens comes to mind. He had a propensity for writing sentences that would last for a page and half, which is possibly the reason some folks find him difficult to read.
I've thought about teaching at one of these on-line colleges after I finish my MBA, and you guys are giving me a slight insight as to how difficult that might be. Without face-to-face contact and body language, the clarity of communication can be
fallacious at best. |
|
|
|
