The Steel Guitar Forum

First off let me say before I even introduce my concerns that I know I am obnoxious, hard headed and a girl and that I don't exactly fit the profile of steel player.
Anyhow, I have traveled a few places now and met other steel players. Before these last few recent trips, the only the people I knew who played steel were Don Pawlak, who is a GREAT guy! and another older gentleman named Jerri, who was just starting to play after 25+ years of retirement.
Up until these last few trips I felt like all steel players would be genial and kind people. I guess I was wrong.
Upon meeting others, I would say 50 percent of them were stuck up and if you had something OTHER than what they had for equipment or opinions, they would talk right over you.
When I met this nasty 50 percent of steel players while I was on the road, I was my usual bright self, not having any pretentions or anything as such. I was friendly and shook hands.
The snobbery makes me sick. It reminds me of the "wholesome rockabilly kids" who look down their nose at my band because we don't have the "boss vintage clothes" or the four doors they bought off of old people.
Has this disenchantment made any of you guys/gals angry AND how do you deal with it?
Thanks for your help.
Melinda
PS Jim, I'm not talkin about you man, you were the best to me in Dallas!

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Just remember: Bi-valves can't play steel. And if they ask, just say no.

I find that players who lack in self-concept and confidence, regardless of their level of playing, can often be defensive and sour. This is not only true of steel players, as you point out. I also believe that your own personality and predispositions follow you into the musical realm. Rarely do I meet a musician who is a warm, wonderful person 'in real life' who is different on stage or on breaks at gigs -- nor, for that matter, vice versa.

It's kinda like 011's (y'know those little skinny strings that pop on you when you least expect it), sometimes you get a bad batch. Maybe you just hit a run of sour steel players.

In general, steel players have been very pleasant folk who love to talk shop on break and are very receptive to inquiries about that electric cheese slicer.

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<small>Larry Bell - email: larry@larrybell.org - gigs - Home Page
2003 Fessenden S/D-12 8x8, 2000 Fessenden S-12 8x8, 1969 Emmons S-12 6x6, 1971 Dobro, Standel and Peavey Amps

I disagree that 50% are bad, but even if that number is correct that leaves half of them that are positive.

For the most part, the narrow-minded ones are not the good players anyway.

My advice is avoid negative influences.
They're not you're problem. These people have to live with themselves.

In my on-line activities, I use the "auto-delete" feature of my email program. In the real world I just stay away from the jerks.

Still, I don't believe the 50% number. In my dealings with Steelers, it's more like 10% max. Of course a few real bad encounters can make it <U>seem</U> like there's a lot more.

I think we have a better percentage of helpful folks than I've experienced with musicians that play other instruments.

All sub-cultures are going to have cliques and "fundamentalists". If you found 50% that were genial and kind, that's not so bad. My experience is, there are always going to be some who are unreceptive to change and different things and that's good because they'll protect and maintain the "core". I spent a number of years playing in rockabilly and "shirt bands" where I was, at times, begrudgingly accepted because I played the steel guitar and I had a '56 Cad in the front yard (they make wonderful lawn ornaments) even though I had a pony tail left over from the '60s. The Rockabillies seemed to be the most ridgid and that's good because it protects the "form" from being diluted as we move further and further away from the '50s. Look what happened to swing after the Gap, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Brian Setzer co-opted it.

<SMALL>PS Jim, I'm not talkin about you</SMALL>

Phew, you had me worried there for a minute!

<SMALL> I know I am obnoxious, hard headed ....</SMALL>

<SMALL>while I was on the road, I was my usual bright self, ... I was friendly and shook hands. </SMALL>

which is it Melinda? obnoxious and hard headed or bright and friendly?

seriously... when I started out many many years back I found some steelers to be what I interpreted as aloof... now I understand they were just trying to get thru the night's playing without worrying there was another "steel player" in the room listening for their every flaw... it's a "security" issue

there is also a lot of "equipment dogma" spouted by, as Larry says, "players who lack in self-concept and confidence," who may feel they have to justify having spent so much money in an attempt to sound like their heroes, and yet they still don't..

you liken these bad apple "steel players" behaviour to that of "wholesome rockabilly bands"- comparing one tiny, insular group of obsessed people with another.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience, but shake it off and move ahead. Anger is counter productive unless you channel the energy into something - like practice.

Don't get mad- get to work!

just my $.02<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Dave Van Allen on 02 April 2003 at 11:58 AM.]</p></FONT>

Melinda,
I am sorry to hear that you have had a bad experience with steel players, but I feel 50% is a large number due to the fact that I do not play steel, but have many many steel playing friends from all across the country.I have been to the Dallas show, St.Louis, and the Oklahoma show, and have always been treated well by all members of the steel group. I have been a forum member for a long time and have made many friends, they have always made me feel welcome, even though I do not play.
Maybe you just caught a few that were having a off night.
IMHO they are a great group of caring people, and I am proud to call them my friends.

Peggy Poovey

An "Obnoxious and hard headed girl", yet "bright and friendly"? You sound OK to me! Don't let the grouchy ones get to you. It doesn't just happen to you younger players, or to girls, either. I've found that there seem to be two reactions; either the other players will be super nice and friendly or they'll be super-jerks and have nothing to do with you. I sat in with one band on a jam night in Northern California a few years ago, everyone in the band was great and very complimentary.....except the other guitar player, who actually turned his back to me the whole time I was on stage, and never said a word to me. Don't worry about them. You can email me anytime, and there are plenty of other nice people around who'll be glad to talk to you. Forget the jerks, they're probably so insecure they're just afraid someone might be a little bit better than they are. <FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Jim Phelps on 02 April 2003 at 12:37 PM.]</p></FONT>

I too would have a hard time believing that 50% were out on the fringe of friendly vs nasty.

Now I certainly have met many musicians and other folk who have met the nasty not nice criteria but in general the steel players that I have run across in the past 2 years since my return to the dang thing have been pretty much real enjoyable. I've been to Scotty's , Saluda SC several times and several events in NC. I've even gone to Nashville and met the infamous Bobbe Seymour ! And when I left his store I still liked him, and still do today.

Not being there and not knowing the players or yourself, I pretty much cannot comment past this. Sometimes folks just rub each other the wrong way..it just happens.

Did I ever tell you all 'bout my first wife ?..well she....

But " I' tell you what "...come on over here to NC and you will have a good time and meet some of the finest folks playing music anywhere....but in all honesty I don't think we are any different here than anywhere else..we play music, sometimes we cuss , sometimes we drink beer..you know ..all that good stuff...

Don't let it bother you..it ain't no big deal..

tp

I've met a lot of steel players over the past several years. Strangely enough, most all of them are from the other 50%.

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HagFan

Melinda,

I hope you won't let your experiences prevent you from meeting others in the future. In any barrel there are always a few sour old apples.
Luckily, I have not had the same experience as you. Those that I have met while traveling have been very cordial. Some have introduced me from the stage. One even invited me into his home to visit while I was vacationing nearby.

I'm a "nobody" steel player myself, but I've been blessed with meeting pleasant steelers who are willing to share their knowledge, opinions, and hospitality.

Thanks for your post. If you're ever through southern Indiana, stop in and show me how to play this dang thing, will ya?

Best Wishes
Tony

Sometimes it's just a bad night.

I know several times when I was in a band that been fired, was about to kill the drummer, bass player or some other problem, that I've found the nearest exit, or secluded spot and just split. A lot of times they are embarrassed and peeved at how they sound or how the band is doing. I know that's the case with me a lot of times.

Compounded, is that as I'm sure you know on "road gigs" half the band wants to go home, and the other half is mad because they don't.

I've found quite the contrary, and try myself to spend more time with people that come up and ask stuff or tell me they play. Just something I picked up from Don West and have been trying to practice it more now that he's gone.

I'll be at the truck stop thru thurs, and the weekend of the 11-12 if you get a chance to come down.

EJL

I've been playing a long time and have met a lot of steel players - and I can count the real shmucks among 'em on one hand and still have a couple fingers left over.
-MJ-

I hate to hear you've met that many steel players that turned you off. I've found just the opposite to be true. I've been around a lot of musicians for about 20 years now and have found steel players by far the most curteous, helpful bunch of musicians I've ever seen.

I've found that most other musicians that play other instruments keep their musical knowledge very secret. Kind of a figure it out yourself attitude. The steel players I've met from the beginner to the top pro's have always been more helpful, kind and patient than I would ever expect. I've only met 1 steel player that fits the description you gave. Maybe I've been lucky.

Just keep pluggin' away at it and as others have said, if they turn their noses up, just move on to the next.

I have noticed a feeling among some male steel players(very few)who have the feeling that female steel players ought to "be in the kitchen where they belong". I have a feeling that these few think all the ladies should be in there cooking. I am ashamed to say that at one time years ago, I had thoughts like that. That was till I realized that hey, some of these girls flat know how to play.

I don't believe there are good musicians or bad musicians. Just musicians that present their music differently and with their own personal touch.

Jerry

Didja buy 'em any drinks? Didja tell 'em they sounded just like Lloyd or Buddy? Didja say things like "Wow, you're really good!" Didja ask for their autograph, or a tape?

Well.....then.....what didja expect???

... sorry, my post was ill-advised. My apologies.


<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Herb Steiner on 02 April 2003 at 09:28 PM.]</p></FONT>

My experience has been more like 98% of the steel players I've met are really nice people, and 2% are (unmentionable body part)s.

It's the same old story, a few loudmouth jerks spoil it for the rest.

Having said that, I have to add though that anybody who doesn't play the exact same make model and color guitar as me is a complete @#%&^* who deserves to have their bars shoved up thier nostrils.

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I'm not fat! I'm horzontally enhanced!

<SMALL>if you had something OTHER than what they had for equipment or opinions, they would talk right over you.</SMALL>

I have everything and I'll talk to everyone...problem is I don't know anything...

Donny,
Great post I'm laughing my a$$ off!!
Thanks I needed that!

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Larry Robbins
GFI-s 10
Morrell lap steel,Reagl 75 dobro and Marshall half stack(I know,I know)

Melinda, I'm not surprised by your observations. There seems to be an elitist air about some steel players from the small to the great. That said, there are also many great folks in the steel community who are warm, friendly people, I hope you get together with them.

Sorry about the 50%, even though I haven't encountered them. I have run into a lot of musicians who were weird, who were painfully shy, who wanted to play their music, and then be left alone. There does seem to be an equipment prejudice, not so much in guitars, as amps. But play, and catch their ears, and you'll win 'em over every time.

Geez! what would the numbers be If we were talking about drummers?

Melinda,

As in any aspect of life, it often seems that half of the people that you meet are real jerks.

One cool solution that you could surely get away with is to carry a plastic (brightly colored, so that they know it's not real) water pistol.

If somebodies rude to you, just give 'em a good squirt. What are they gonna do about it, hit a girl?

On second thought, maybe you ought to ignore this advice.

Stick with your steel guitar girl and enjoy every minute of it that you can. Life's too short to sweat the wierdos.

Regards,
HH