Musical Friendships Matter!

[Rob Anderlik]

Latest entry from my blog - The Squareneck Journal

One of the most underrated aspects of developing our own talent is the quality of musicians we play with on a regular basis. When we play with good musicians it ups our game. Seriously ups our game! On the other hand no matter how good a player might be - put them in a band of second-rate musicians and it becomes impossible for them to really shine.

What's your perspective?

How have your musician friends and collaborators influenced your own development?

What have been some of the highs and lows of playing with different musicians and bands over the years?

All musicians have strengths and weaknesses. How has playing with different musicians either amplified your strengths or exposed your weaknesses and how did you react to those experiences?

Which has had a greater impact on your development as a musician - practicing at home or playing music with others?

[Ian]

Great post!

I'm on sort of a hiatus from playing with people and playing out. Simply because I'm so busy with work; I'm a bartender who works nights. But I love to get together with friends and play music. To me, the steel guitar excels as "icing on the cake." Next week I should be getting together with the guitarist I've been jamming with for the last sixteen years (with whom I've been in several bands. There's talk of me sitting in with his acoustic project for a few tunes) and our friend Bethie who has the voice of an angel - but hates to perform.

I'll admit I get the jitters playing live, hence my proclivity for "tuning fluid" prior to performances. But if you want to be a good player, you just got to get out there and make it happen. I've learned more messing up the bridge or playing the wrong chord on stage (a brief moment) than countless hours practicing at home - though I wouldn't have been messing up on stage without the countless hours of practice.

As they say, "Nothing inspires like a deadline." And I wouldn't be practicing Joni Mitchell's "Help Me" as much as I have been if it weren't next week's get together. My old bass player paid me a very generous compliment the other day by lamenting to my wife that I was doing the community a disservice by not playing out. After all, music is about making a connection.

So thanks for the post, I should really get my s#!t together.

Ian

[Rob Anderlik]

Over the past 20-25 years I've been on a quest to get my chops together and play with the best musicians I can. I've had some pretty serious ups and downs along the way. Those experiences have come in 3 main varieties.

1) playing with great musicians and feeling completely inadequate and/or unprepared to contribute to the music they were playing.

2) attempting to play with certain musicians but walking away feeling dissatisfied because we didn't connect in any meaningful way.

3) the deepest sense of joy that comes when you connect with another musician or a band and are completely synced - rhythmically/dynamically and think with one mind. Those are the peak moments you live for and make all the other stuff - the 1000's of hours of practice, the frustrations and disappointments - make it all worthwhile.

Just being able to establish a solid groove, to really dial in a solid rhythmic feel with another player goes a long, long way toward making great music. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but good rhythmic communication between players covers a multitude of sins.

[Steven Pearce]

The more you can play out, with the BEST players you can find,
you will improve.It can help you learn what 'works' or doesn't.
Also, if you can play what you hear inside your musical self,
you will develop your own instrumental voice. Some nights
you may go home thinking, "Man, I played great tonight."Other nights
may be musically depressing and make you want to sell your gear.
Both are important in your musical growth. Look in the mirror,
splash some water on your face and tell yourself, next time I'll hit it outta the park.
You wake up, think about what went good, and what wasn't so good.
Lose the bad, remember the good, and make it happen next time.

The people you play will develop into real musical friendships. Like this
Me on the right, a guitarist named Tim McGovern (google him, he's been around)
on the left. He's picky, outspoken, and usually right. I hung in there, listened to what he said, worked at it and he's made me a better, and we have real fun playing together.
Ok I've kept you too long now, I have to go get ready for a Sunday Night Valentine gig
with him. We'll be at The Red Dog Saloon tonight in Port Orchard WA. just in case your out and about

[Ulrich Sinn]

[...] put them in a band of second-rate musicians and it becomes impossible for them to really shine.

That is a very complicated topic. Several times bands I have been playing in had to settle for weaker musicians because the better ones were not (and I mean that in the best sense of the word) amateurs. For the same reasons that we, the amateurs, can afford to pursue our hobby, other musicians can not.

Totally understandable, yet at the same time a bit of a trap.

[Rob Anderlik]

Ulrich,

What I'm trying to get at with this statement is the notion that playing music with others is a team sport. On the one hand it's not necessary that every member of the team be an incredible musician, but how the musicians interact with each other - especially the quality of the rhythmic groove and the use of dynamics - is critical to creating a supportive environment for the singer or the soloist to really shine. Very often it's the case that listeners ears will gravitate toward the singer or the soloist and that's to be expected. But what they don't always realize is a big part of the reason they sound so good is because of the way the band or other musician(s) are supporting what they are doing.

On the other hand no matter how good a player might be - put them in a band of second-rate musicians and it becomes impossible for them to really shine.

[Ulrich Sinn]

I guess I misunderstood.

[Stefan Robertson]

Musical friendships have ups and downs indeed.

Too much to say about both sides.

But I love the challenge.

[John Mulligan]

I don't think it's about better players in worse bands or vice versa, but musical friendships. In high school my best friend was a guitar picker, singer and songwriter. We hung around a lot together. He gave me his old guitar. I got to watch him write songs. If it wasn't for him and a couple of other generous souls I wouldn't have had a life in music. Those are musical friendships that shaped my life. Thanks guys!

[Charlie McDonald]

Which has had a greater impact on your development as a musician - practicing at home or playing music with others?

Playing with others. Playing live, nothing like it. Playing with others, even better. If they're good musicians, the best.

People I've played in bands with are now friends for life, family. The family that plays together stays together, forever.

[Rob Anderlik]

Thanks everyone, great posts!

Here's an excerpt from my interview with Rob Ickes which speaks to the importance of musical collaborations.

"SJ: So nothing can replace the experience of playing music with other musicians. I have always maintained that while a metronome is a valuable learning tool it doesn’t respond to you. Different musicians “feel” timing in different ways. So, playing music with others involves you are a responding to each other; seems to be part of the process of learning.


RI: It’s also part of the process of creativity. A lot of times, if I’m on a really good session, working with good musicians, I play stuff that I had no idea I could play. People can bring it out of you: it’s this exchange that happens between musicians. Those are the peak moments, you know, the reason why we are all playing music in the first place. Don’t miss out on that stuff. Sometimes it can be elusive but that’s what brought us here in the first place."

The main idea I'm advocating here is that in addition to practicing at home getting out of the house and finding people to play with is a critical part of the learning process. No matter what level you are playing at - beginner, intermediate or advanced - getting out of the house, finding people to play with, experiencing the ups and downs of all that entails - goes a long, long way toward helping us to achieve our full potential as musicians.

[David Renson]

Music is everything to me. I need to gig/jam at least once a week to keep my head in a good place. Through 50 years of bands the most important part of my musical enjoyment and growth has always been about close friendships with musicians that i've played with. There's nothing better than a strong musical connection with one or more people who truly care about each other and enjoy playing together.