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Post Retirement Syndrome

Posted: 4 May 2013 8:27 am
by Les Anderson
Last summer I retired full time from commercial (public stage performing in bands) and must say the withdrawal has been a little more life and emotionally disruptive than I had ever expected. Every time I hear or see a band playing, live or on a recording, I get this down and out feeling that part of my life vanished with my retirement from music. Sitting in on loosely knit jam sessions or playing alone in my home just does not fulfill the need to play, professionally organized music.

I played in my first band in 1953 when I was thirteen and last year, was 72 when I played in my last band setting at a country show in our area. That is 60 years of playing on stage or with other dedicated musicians while performing. I had no idea how much of my life was dedicated to music and a musical group setting.

When you older players finally call it quits, do you get the same empty and lost feeling that I am going through?

Posted: 4 May 2013 8:51 am
by Gene Jones
Les, I can sympathize with your retirement woes.

I began playing a Sears single neck six-string Hawaiian guitar in 1947 while a teen-ager and finished my career in 2001 in my 70's playing a music show in Guthrie, Oklahoma with a group of entertainers/musicians who collectively equaled my age.

However, where I was different from your situation was that I didn't mind shucking a lifetime of music. My children were already grown, and it was too late to recapture the time lost while I was a working musician, and I was suffering from a hearing disability that ended my musical career.

From:
The Great White North Posted Sat May 04, 2013 8:27 am

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Last summer I retired full time from commercial (public stage performing in bands) and must say the withdrawal has been a little more life and emotionally disruptive than I had ever expected. Every time I hear or see a band playing, live or on a recording, I get this down and out feeling that part of my life vanished with my retirement from music. Sitting in on loosely knit jam sessions or playing alone in my home just does not fulfill the need to play, professionally organized music.

I played in my first band in 1953 when I was thirteen and last year, was 72 when I played in my last band setting at a country show in our area. That is 60 years of playing on stage or with other dedicated musicians while performing. I had no idea how much of my life was dedicated to music and a musical group setting.

When you older players finally call it quits, do you get the same empty and lost feeling that I am going through?

Posted: 4 May 2013 10:47 am
by Dave Hopping
Les,I think that is the downside of having a job you liked so much you always looked forward to going to the office.How often do we hear of musicians gigging long past the time most working folks have hung it up? B.B. King,Les Paul,Wanda Jackson,Ray Price,Loretta Lynn,Bill Monroe,the list goes on and on.Don Wilson still fronts The Ventures at eighty.George Burns was doing standup at 99.My mom(she's 92) still plays piano "for the old folks" at the assisted-living place where she and my stepdad(he's 96)live...There's no doubt that retirement is for a lot of performers postponed as long as humanly possible,and I'm reminded of the old saying "If you love your job,you'll never work a day in your life".I'm considerably older than most bar-band country players and I've run into more age-ism than my bar-band chops can counteract,so I'm chronically underemployed,but I'm still thinking about putting another ad on Craigslist.Once more into the breach,dear friends.Or something. :lol:

Posted: 4 May 2013 2:05 pm
by Donny Hinson
You have to find something else to cling to, sort of "replacement therapy" to fill the void. I've been through so many serious hobbies (shooting, drag racing, collecting, martial arts, and just "over the top" reading of thousands of books) that I have no problem filling the voids.

I can fully understand your situation................

Posted: 4 May 2013 4:03 pm
by Ray Montee
I too, have suffered immensely from a forced retirement from my music career. I had so much fun playing on radio, television, stage, clubs, recording studios and public dance halls that when Saturday rolls around, I still long for that hustle, bustle of tearing down my steel and stuffing it in a box and dragging it all outside while struggling to shove it into the trunk of a car or where ever.

Over the years I met a lot of nice people and some really great musicians that are now lost to me.

Now that I have achieved a level of musical ability that gives me satisfaction and have acquired the musical instruments that I always longed for, I now have that dilemma of having no place to go an play.

Posted: 4 May 2013 5:38 pm
by Buck Reid
Les and Ray... have either of you considered teaching? I know you don't know me and I've only been at this for 35 years but it occurs to me that both of you have a lifetime of experience to share. I do some teaching and find much gratification in seeing the proverbial "light bulb" come on with a student while illustrating something. And often times come away feeling like I've learned something as well. Without getting too long winded... it could help to keep your creative juices flowing, keep this great instrument alive and keep you involved in something that you both obviously love! Sincerely, Buck

Posted: 4 May 2013 6:31 pm
by Les Anderson
Thanks for the input guys; it's much appreciated.

Buck, I have spent most of my music career playing by ear. I can read the notes of sheet music but not beyond that. The theoretical knowledge of music that I know would fit on the head of a pin when compared to many of the professionals I have played with. So teaching would be limited.

At present, I am teaching two young fellows D8 steel guitar; however, I can only teach scales, tunings, timing and when to sit in the background and stay quiet. (they both love the D8 non-pedal sound for their screeching rock sounds) I have met too many professionally educated musicians to know where I fit when it comes to the knowledge of theory and teaching.

Stories of road days are many, the people who I have met and worked with are in the past and yes, ageism has pushed my accepted musical ability to the back burner. I just can't get a grasp on what can replace music in one's life.

Re: I can fully understand your situation................

Posted: 4 May 2013 6:33 pm
by Les Anderson
Ray Montee wrote: Now that I have achieved a level of musical ability that gives me satisfaction and have acquired the musical instruments that I always longed for, I now have that dilemma of having no place to go an play.
Jeez, isn't that the truth. Fifty/sixty years of playing experience and we are of no use to the younger crowd because we gave gray hair.

Posted: 4 May 2013 11:18 pm
by Dave Hopping
One thing I did when the work slowed down was to buy a good recorder and a drum machine,and record various instrumental tunes I either enjoyed playing or wanted to and never got to play live.Figuring parts out,fitting them together and then getting a good performance is a lot the same kind of high-impact mental workout that you get when you play live,and when it all gets done and mixed down,there's something to show for it.Since nobody's trying to make money,you can do tunes you like for your own enrichment and you can sometimes put together a friend's or relative's favorite song.Makes a nice gift,and you can do it all right at home.No load-in necessary,and no one will fuss if you record in your PJs.In fact,if you go direct,you can shred all night and never bother the Mrs. :D

Posted: 5 May 2013 2:05 am
by Jack Stoner
I'm 75. I'm still playing a weekly gig but I have slowed down and don't pick out as much as I used to. Most musician's I know never really totally quit, they may not play as much but they still keep their hand in it.

Living in Florida with all the other retiree's, the youngest in our band is 70. There are other bands around with similar age band members. There is a local jazz group and they too are all "older" retirees.

Posted: 5 May 2013 4:07 am
by Howard Steinberg
I'm 65 and still holding up pretty well. In thinking about ageism, I personally have not experienced too much of this. I see a lot of people of my vintage doing country, blues and jazz gigs. As steel players, many of us live in areas that there are not many of us, which in and of itself opens up opportunities. I also think that if a band discriminates due to age, that this will be a situation that likely will be someplace I'd rather not be. Let's also not forget that live music in general has taken a hit in many places.

As long as I can play without embarrassing myself, I plan to keep it out there. I have taken advantage of the light weight guitars and amplifiers which is a big plus at my age. I'm not as driven to play out to the extent at I did, even 10 years ago. I usually pass on gigs that require breathing of heavy second hand smoke. If there is one faculty that I find slipping it's my former ability to remember what to play when. In instances that require specific parts/licks, in specific places, I need to keep a chart on a stand.

If people still want to play out and have the capability to do so, I think that there is little to lose by putting it out there. Craig's list works well in that you have an opportunity to screen replies and follow up on what appears to have potential for you. I'm not saying that getting older is much fun, but I am saying that we have some control as to how it plays out for us. My very best to all.

Posted: 5 May 2013 5:02 am
by Bill Ferguson
Buck,
That is a great idea.
People like me are not really teachers, but I can show hand technique and some licks.

I may just have to give that a try.

See you in 4 weeks.

Bill

Posted: 5 May 2013 7:52 am
by Bob Simons
The most frustrating part for me at 66 was going away from playing big stage R&R guitar. I always played better and more creatively the more noise and the more people in the audience. I couldn't wait to leap onto a stage and find out what was going to come out of my guitar!

Now I play new age jazz on a pedal steel with a fine keyboard player about once a week. Oh, its some fun, but honestly, other than a place to sit down and put your drink, it doesn't move me. I've gone from highly emotional and communal hack and slash to doodly dooing my way into the twighlight zone while people sip cocktails or munch cajun food and try to chat over the noise the band is making...

Somehow playing alone at home and practicing (although I enjoy it) just doesn't satisfy the itch.

Image

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Posted: 5 May 2013 8:59 am
by Joe Casey
I retired 5 0r 6 times before I finally can say I am happy now. I only go out to my music room ,Listen to old band tapes, Recordings and once in a while I sit down and write a hit no one will ever listen to. At 75 I'm happy to check in on the Forum and still see what's happening and who is still going like the energizer Bunny. My batteries just ran out of charge. :( But hearing a good old real Country song now and then has a re-charging effect. :) Doesn't last long tho. :cry: Memories do go a long way still. :D

Posted: 5 May 2013 9:55 am
by Don Sulesky
Well I'm 71 and don't play out as often as I did in the 70's and 80's where it seemed I was playing every weekend.
Now as I'm older and recovering from back surgery I'll do an occasional gig. I do a senior center once a month.
Mostly now I have steel guitar students in which I enjoy teaching more than playing out.
Don

Posted: 5 May 2013 11:43 am
by Ken Byng
Retirement is the other way around for me. I was a pro steel player for 17 years, gave it up for family reasons and got a day job. Worked hard at that and did well, becoming a senior manager in local government. I retired a year early last week, and now I can gig wherever and whenever I want to, and the phone has started to ring for session work, just as it did back in the 70's.

I don't think I could ever envisage life without music and live performance, even aged 64 as I am now. Buck's recommendation for teaching is an excellent idea, and with Skype and other communication methods available these days, the options and opportunities are endless.

Posted: 5 May 2013 11:58 am
by Ron Randall
Off topic.

I have seen that guitar many times. Noodled around on it.

Nothin' but FUN.

Ron

Posted: 5 May 2013 12:44 pm
by Roger Rettig
I'm seventy now and retirement is nothing more than a far-fetched notion. By the end of 2013 I will have spent maybe 175 nights away from home earning a living from playing music.

I'm not complaining - I mostly still enjoy it and still encounter some challenges that make me a more well-rounded player - but there's the slighly uncomfortable realisation that I don't have a choice. I simply don't have enough money behind me to be able to pick and choose the gigs I really want to do.

Seventy is the new fifty? Maybe so, but it's a good job in my case!!! :whoa:

Posted: 5 May 2013 1:46 pm
by Charles Curtis
I wouldn't try to teach anyone psg, but one thing I enjoy doing is giving advice to youngsters. I'm pretty good at it as both of our children and our grandchildren have done real well through all grades, straight "A's" through college with an occasional "B", and three got their masters. Once I asked one what prompted her to make straight "A's" through Johns Hopkins, getting her masters in Bio-Med Engineering, she said, "I listened to you grand dad". So I thought to myself, just what did I say to these kids? Yesterday, at the local McDonalds where I do lunch, the manager asked me if I would watch her kids while she did some work. This turned into about three hours and there was never a dull moment. I got them a couple of toys and took advantage of the time to help them. They are bi-lingual and very sharp and it was a joy. IMO, what we say to children is critical and I always keep it positive.

Posted: 5 May 2013 4:59 pm
by Nigel Mullen
I am 73 and have played in bands etc for the last 50 years. Most of the beer joints in my area don't hire bands like they used to since the economy went down the tubes. There really is'nt many weekend playing gigs in my area at all anymore and I don't think I could take the late nights etc like I used to. I still have a 4 piece band and we get a gigs at senior's homes, hospitals and places like that. The people in these places really appreciate us going in and doing gigs for them. Many of them are disabled and can't get out anymore. The nice thing about these gigs is that they are mostly in the daytime or early evening so we are home at an early hour. A lot of these things are freebies but it makes the residents happy and that is gratifying. With a light weight steel and amplifier, these gigs are real easy to do and it keeps me involved in music and I feel it is helping someone. Hope I never have to quit gigging completely I love it so much.

Posted: 6 May 2013 10:09 am
by Fred Glave
Wherever I go I try to take in a live band. I often see older players on stage playing right along with younger ones. The trick is to be open to new music. I'm almost 57 and I'm in a band with a 24 year old girl who sings pretty darn good. We play 90% top 40 country, and nobody's getting down on me because of my age. I play in a house band too that plays only good old country tunes. I love it. The band members and the audience are all well over 65 years old. I'm the "young guy". The audience is getting smaller each year, and the players sometimes don't come back each week.

Posted: 10 May 2013 7:16 am
by Mike Eisler
I think there are two types of retirees...those that wanted to and those that got forced into it. You sound as if you planned your retirement but I understand you must miss the endorphin rush of performance. Under the heading of count your lucky stars...you had the luck of having talent, drive AND opportunity. You have lived through the greatest period in history for live music. I think it's slowly on the way out now. Be glad you were able to have been there.

Posted: 10 May 2013 11:34 am
by Les Anderson
Thank-you Mike. I most certainly agree with you that I was blessed to live through and work in the end of an era of music while music was still music. I actually retired because my type of appreciative music has all but vanished in our area. Even though I play five instruments, the opportunities for an old fart to break in with a new band is all but gone; especially if it has anything to do with country music or old time jazz.

We have a likewise group in our area who get together now and then and have a great time reminiscing and playing those classic old tunes from the days gone by. Other than the odd Legion and retirement home gig, we now pretty much sit at home.

Posted: 11 May 2013 1:52 pm
by Alan Brookes
With more time on your hands, now is the time to work on that new solo album you always told yourself you would record when you got round to it. ;-)

Posted: 11 May 2013 2:23 pm
by Scott Duckworth
Well, I have never played or sung professionally, but I have immensely enjoyed every time I have ever went to a nursing home to play or sing for the residents. And, I hope (when I get pedal steel mastered) that I get to play in some local senior centers.