World's Best Excuses

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 13 Feb 2007 5:48 pm

I'll start this one off..................

This instrument is way out of tune, and somebody has been messing about with the pedals. I usually play perfectly in tune.

My bar has scratches all over it, and it throws me right out.

I can't play in front of an audiance because I have very big feet.

I hurt my legs playing rugby and I can't use the pedals any more.

The rest of the band is out of key.

What key was that, anyway ? I haven't figured it out yet.

Henry Nagle · Post by **Henry Nagle** » 13 Feb 2007 6:20 pm

I had to get drunk because this place is scary.

Mark Edwards · Post by **Mark Edwards** » 13 Feb 2007 6:22 pm

I've only been playing steel for a couple of years

basilh · Post by **basilh** » 13 Feb 2007 7:08 pm

Or :-

"Ars longa, vita brevis, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile."

'it takes a long time to acquire and perfect one's expertise and one has but a short time in which to do it'.

A. J. Schobert · Post by **A. J. Schobert** » 13 Feb 2007 7:45 pm

Its to heavey

Mike Perlowin · Post by **Mike Perlowin** » 13 Feb 2007 8:03 pm

Jim Cohen made me do it.

Shannon Cooke · Post by **Shannon Cooke** » 13 Feb 2007 8:04 pm

The sun was in my eyes!

Bob Tuttle · Post by **Bob Tuttle** » 13 Feb 2007 8:20 pm

The guitar player turned one of my tuning keys.......and he won't tell me which one.

A. J. Schobert · Post by **A. J. Schobert** » 13 Feb 2007 8:25 pm

"Get the drunk barmaid off my guitar"

David Doggett · Post by **David Doggett** » 13 Feb 2007 8:43 pm

Everybody is playing too loud - I can't hear myself.

Coming in from outside, the temperature change put me out of tune.

This band doesn't play the kind of music I like.

I don't know the songs this group plays, and haven't rehearsed enough with them.

My amp doesn't sound like it does at home. I can't get the EQ right for my tone.

This guitar's too old and clunky - I can't get it to play right.

This guitar is too new and lightweight - I can't get the vintage tone I am use to.

This is a 12" speaker - I need a 15."

This is a 15" speaker - I need 12s.

This is a solid state amp - I'm use to tube tone.

This is a tube amp - I'm use to a solid state with more clean headroom.

The sound guy doesn't know what steel should sound like - he's ruining my tone.

Should I keep going? I got a million of these.

Bob Hoffnar · Post by **Bob Hoffnar** » 13 Feb 2007 10:24 pm

Whenever I screw up I just shoot a nasty look over at the bass player. They rarely notice anything so its a great system.

Chuck Hall · Post by **Chuck Hall** » 14 Feb 2007 1:38 am

I smile every time I make a mistake, that's why I laugh the whole time I play.

Sorry guys, I was just following the girl singer, she led me out there.

It was in tune when I bought it.

You mean Bb isn't the third line down from the end with the little turning thingies on it?

basilh · Post by **basilh** » 14 Feb 2007 2:15 am

I thought Bb was an intonation instruction !!

CrowBear Schmitt · Post by **CrowBear Schmitt** » 14 Feb 2007 2:53 am

my wife done took off
she took the kids
the car
& the $$$ in the cookie jar

man i feel terrible - bear w: me will ya'
Thanx

George McLellan · Post by **George McLellan** » 14 Feb 2007 3:46 am

When Bill Rudolph built my "Willy" he didn't put in the high speed mode that he put in Albert Svenddalls.

Geo

Charlie McDonald · Post by **Charlie McDonald** » 14 Feb 2007 5:36 am

I'm a lot better than this, but the rest of the band is bringing me down, man.

David L. Donald · Post by **David L. Donald** » 14 Feb 2007 5:45 am

The electricity is so dodgy on this island it dropped
from 220v to 164v, and my amp doesn't like it.
Plus it's messing with my tuner.

3 Finger Pete is glaring at me HARD...
He said it sounds too much like a church??? (true one)
That would make ANYONE play worse.

Carl Williams · Post by **Carl Williams** » 14 Feb 2007 6:07 am

The smoke was too thick to see what I was doing...

I'm sorry, but I asked if ya'll were in tune...shoulda took my E's when I offered them

Jim Sliff · Post by **Jim Sliff** » 14 Feb 2007 6:10 am

whenever I screw up I just shoot a nasty look over at the bass player. They rarely notice anything so its a great system.

Me too! Our whole bluegrass band adopted that years ago and it always worked. Been using it ever since...well I would if I ever made mistakes.

Papa Joe Pollick · Post by **Papa Joe Pollick** » 14 Feb 2007 7:10 am

I slap my hand when I screw up.Baaaaad hand.

Carroll Hale · Post by **Carroll Hale** » 14 Feb 2007 7:13 am

excuses are like hineyholes..............
every body has one.........
and they all stink.........

Dick Wood · Post by **Dick Wood** » 14 Feb 2007 7:25 am

I don't feel good.

Darvin Willhoite · Post by **Darvin Willhoite** » 14 Feb 2007 8:32 am

I used this one last Sunday. "I couldn't hear the drummer click off". I missed the first two notes of my intro. Really, I just wasn't paying attention. It's just easier to blame the drummer.

David Fields · Post by **David Fields** » 14 Feb 2007 9:19 am

The dog ate my picks!

I have a bone in my leg!

What are those pedals doing down there?

I don't need to turn up louder, I can hear it just fine!

It sounded good when I was practicing it at home!

John Cox · Post by **John Cox** » 14 Feb 2007 9:37 am

My guitar doesn't play that stuff.

I have "Big E" syndrome.

My bar is too cold.

I have stupid fingeritist.

Couldn't see the frets.

What! you can tune this thing?

J.C.

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