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Jerry Gleason · Post by **Jerry Gleason** » 3 Aug 2007 10:47 pm

I've done a couple of gigs at a local nudist camp. It's kind of like a family-oriented RV park where everybody walks around naked. Other than that, it was a pretty ordinary gig. One was a convention where we played in front of about 500 nudists. The band was not required to undress, although encouraged to do so, but we just couldn't quite get there. A little too uptight, I guess. I always regretted that, though, since I'll probably never get another chance to play naked in front of hundreds of people...

One of the band members actually enjoyed the experience so much, that he subsequently became a member of the nudist camp.

I guess when you think about it, it was kind of a bizarre gig, at that.

Bo Borland · Post by **Bo Borland** » 4 Aug 2007 12:38 am

I did a wedding gig years ago, the bride asked me if her brother could do a song and play my guitar. The bandstand was surrounded by a fake brick wall. While he was playing he sat on the wall, fell over backwards and knocked himself out. He died at the hospital. About 15 years later at a party, We were swapping stories like this, and a voice from behind me says, "that was my brother".

Al Collinsworth · Post by **Al Collinsworth** » 4 Aug 2007 4:53 am

Stu Schulman · Post by **Stu Schulman** » 4 Aug 2007 11:11 am

You guys are scaring me,I'm playing at a wedding in about three hours

Jim Peters · Post by **Jim Peters** » 4 Aug 2007 4:29 pm

Very early 70's, New Years Eve for the society of Deaf people in St. Louis. No offense to meant towards anyone with disabilities. Eating dinner was the wierdest, not a sound except for the utensils, but a pretty decent gig as I remember. JP

Ken Lang · Post by **Ken Lang** » 4 Aug 2007 6:43 pm

In the late 60's we played in a club that had two female dancers. They were on a pedestal next to the band. While they weren't topless, they had pasties covering them and hot pants to attract the folks.

One week one of the dancers was black. We always made friends with the girls, figuring they were like us, part of the entertainment. We were sitting at a table with the girls when this guy came up, reached across the table and started slapping the black girl. I stood up and pushed him away, ready for anything when the guy said, "That's my Wife."

Later in the week, the black girl started attracting black folks to see her dance. Remember this is in the 60's. Some A$$hole white guy started nosing around the blacks and it soon led to a fight and then a full fledged race riot. We just hunkered down on the bandstand and weren't bothered.

When the police came and took away some people, including the instigator, we packed up and went home for a week while the place was shut down.

Doug Beaumier · Post by **Doug Beaumier** » 4 Aug 2007 11:44 pm

Earnest Bovine · Post by **Earnest Bovine** » 5 Aug 2007 12:10 am

Once I played a gig where the club owner told the band to play louder.

Billy Murdoch · Post by **Billy Murdoch** » 5 Aug 2007 12:31 am

I played a gig a few years back with a singer who was(so HE thought)an actor, He used to get walk on parts in tv plays.He was always putting on mime like faces, silly smile,surprise face,sad look and so on,looked as phoney as hell.
Anyway We always started on time and by start time there was no one there,"Lets do it"says he.I was sitting slightly behind him and just put my head down and concentrated on the things that steel players do.After a while I looked to the side and in the full length mirror I could see our lead man in his "kiss me quick"cowboy hat singing and smiling and waving to folks in the audience of none,he was really going out of his way to get to know everyone.
After about half an hour the owner asked us if we would finish up for half pay.We took it and I managed to sit in with another band which was playing nearby,they had a real audience.
Best regards
Billy

Doug Beaumier · Post by **Doug Beaumier** » 5 Aug 2007 12:47 am

Once I played a gig where the club owner told the band to play louder.

Incredible!!!

Mike Perlowin · Post by **Mike Perlowin** » 5 Aug 2007 6:34 pm

Back around ’82 during the Urban Cowboy craze, I got a call. “Is this Mike the steel player?” “Yes” “Well my name is (I forget) and I’m with the band Pegasus and we have 4 gigs lined up for this coming weekend, 2 in the afternoons at one club and 2 at night at another, and we need a steel player, are you available?” “Yes.” “I have to tell you, we’re all gay and we’ll be playing in gay bars. Is that a problem for you?” “No but you realize I’m straight. Will that be a problem?” “Oh no. Not at all. The first gig is at 2 PM. Could you come by at noon and go over the tunes with us?”

So I get to the guys house, and it’s him and 2 other guys. The guy who called me played the piano, neither of the other 2 played any instrument, and none of them had ever performed in public before. Of course I knew it was going to be a disaster, but the guys assured me that there were 2 other musicians, a bass player and drummer, who were experienced professionals, who would be joining them (us) at the gigs.

So, expecting the worst, I went to the club, and as the guys said, two more musicians, a bassist and drummer showed up. Lesbians. But the guys were right. The girls were experienced pros. The bass player immediately sized up the situation and took over fronting the gig, and she did a good job, while the guys stood in the background, not knowing what to do. (One of them played a tambourine.)

To my relief the first set went quite well. But then during the break, the bass player started drinking. I went over to the bar to get a coke and the bass player told me she liked my playing and offered me a spot in her band. I told her that I would gladly play for her but that I free-lanced around town playing for whoever had a gig. Her response was that if I couldn’t pull my own weight she didn’t want me. I got my coke and went back to the bandstand to tweak my tuning or something.

It takes me a while to set up, so after the 2nd set (the afternoon gigs were just 2 sets) which also went well, I immediately packed up my gear and headed over to the second club.

Downbeat at the 2nd club was 8PM. I got there shortly after 7 and was set up and ready to play by 7:30. At which time the guys walked in, but not the girls.

7:45, no girls, I’m starting to get nervous. 7:50, still no girls. Now I’m getting VERY nervous. 7:55, Now I’m past nervous and convinced the evening is going to be the total disaster I envisioned earlier in the day.

7:59- the girls walk in. The bass player is now completely drunk. Amazingly, this does not seem to affect her performance. However the alcohol has made her mean and abusive, barking orders at the guys, who are completely cowed by the situation. At this point all I want to do is get through the gig with as little hassle as possible, so I don’t talk to her. She calls out the tunes and keys, and I play them.

In between the 2nd and 3rd sets, I overheard her screaming at the club owner. “This is MY gig now, and you pay ME!!!” I went up to the guy who originally called me and told him that she was correct in that it was her gig now, but he was still the contractor, and he had better make sure that the club owner pay him, and that he pay me. (Which is what did in fact happen.)

During the last set, the bass player called out “Me and Bobby McGhee.” I asked if she was going to do it the Janis Joplin way or the Kris Kristofferson way. Her answer was “Shut up and play.”

I walked off the stage. This was only time I ever did this, but under the same circumstances, I’d do it again. We did not play the 2 gigs the following day.

BTW, the drummer was cool. She did not get drunk, or act inappropriately in any way. I wound up doing another gig with her a few months later.
==========
Apparently I accidentally hit the letter i instead of the letter u in the phrase "shut up and play." The resulting obscenity was changed to a different word referring to the same substance, but of course the phrase as it originally appeared made no sense. I've edited the post to correct the mistake.

Doug Beaumier · Post by **Doug Beaumier** » 5 Aug 2007 7:35 pm

I walked off the stage.

A wise move, Mike!

Jody Sanders · Post by **Jody Sanders** » 5 Aug 2007 8:53 pm

Worked a wedding where the bride was 8 months, 29 days, 23 hrs. and 59 minutes with child, AKA pregnant. She was wearing a white wedding gown with bride's maids, flower girls , and the whole bit. Thankfully she did not have the baby while we were there. Jody.

Al Collinsworth · Post by **Al Collinsworth** » 6 Aug 2007 3:39 am

Paul King · Post by **Paul King** » 6 Aug 2007 3:58 am

I never was one to play clubs so I do not have any bad experiences with that scene. I played one night out west of Oklahoma City,Oklahoma. I was playing in a Christian Country Band that was getting recognition nationwide. During the soundcheck the members of this church campmeeting were getting all bent out of shape. They wanted to know how we got in there and who invited us. We were playing "Honky Tonk Music" as they put it and it was a bunch of "Crap". Pretty nice things to say at a church campmeeting where the people were Pentecostals. We played and they sure did not respond. I was sure glad to get it over with and leave. That probably was my worst experience and it happened at a church campmeeting which I would have never expected.

Joe Casey · Post by **Joe Casey** » 6 Aug 2007 12:14 pm

But Doug did you sell him the Guitar?....In that same motel lounge and resturant where the girls worked. When they were finished with the customer they would come in the back door and walk by the bandstand. One night I started yelling out numbers like in a super market deli....#22 your up next....Patty Walker got a big kick out of it....Found out later down the Road that Patty was not patty but Paddy....

Joe R told me that and I thought it was funny cause she he was about 6'4....Surprise surprise....On the same funny gig thing...We were hired by a State Senator Marty Riley to play at his grandmothers 100th birthday...Well you can Imagine even her kids were in their 70s....We were to loud from the first song...We wound up playing accousticly and yup even then we were too loud....But we drank and drank and got paid..Ever try whispering Happy Birthday too music even you couldn't hear?...I'll bet tyou and I could fill this Forum up with stories.....

Eric Jaeger · Post by **Eric Jaeger** » 6 Aug 2007 12:59 pm

Not strictly speaking my gig (I did the equipment), but a friend played bass in a Berkeley band that played on a flatbed truck during one of Berkeley's (many) marches. During the march they were at one point joined by some girls dancing (topless) on the truck as well.

It was only looking at photos years later that we ID'd... Squeaky Fromme, Susan Atkins.... aka the Manson Family. Glad we didn't annoy them.

-eric

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 6 Aug 2007 6:54 pm

Eric's story brings to mind a similar gig. We were playing for people who were quite elderly and quite rich. They had so much money, they air conditioned the yard in summer. The units were on huge flatbed trailers and the ducts looked like those tubes the kids crawl around in at McDonalds. Anyway, we absolutely could not play quiet enough, no matter
how much we turned down. Finally, we put on CDs at a barely audible volume and pantomined. They were
happy and complimentary of the music and paid us
handsomely.

Jody Cameron · Post by **Jody Cameron** » 6 Aug 2007 7:07 pm

The one I still have nightmares about happened at an after-show party in PA in the late 1990's. A jealous brother-in-law pulled a gun and started shooting indiscriminately. He barely missed one of the young ladies in our entourage. The police quarantined us in our hotel while they looked for the guy. After he escaped the party, he went on a rampage, shooting up the local fire station where he volunteered. He then went to a rural area and shot himself to death in a field. Very scary and very sad.

JC

Henry Nagle · Post by **Henry Nagle** » 6 Aug 2007 7:32 pm

A band I was in was booked to play two nights in Merced, CA. We sent a demo and were told that we'd be a big hit.
The place felt a little funny right from the start. Then, when we started playing the place cleared out to the back patio. We played for and hour and took a break. Everyone came back inside and danced to the jukebox.
I've been in plenty of crappy bands and I can say with authority that we were not a crappy band. We were actually a really good band and we were playing well that night.
It was like that all night.

The wierdest thing was that the only song that played on the jukebox was a Gary Moore instrumental.... all night long!

We were a little bummed. We told the bartender that we wouldn't be back for the 2nd night. A local friend got us booked into a downtown bar on 5 hour notice the next day. They went crazy for us and we got paid a lot more.

The following weekend the owner/bartender of the 2nd bar was murdered by a drunk that he'd kicked out a few minutes before. Real bummer. Nice guy.

Strange town.

Dave Harmonson · Post by **Dave Harmonson** » 6 Aug 2007 9:35 pm

I've done so many stranger than fiction gigs I'm not sure where to start, but one that stands out was a car dealer western days promo. When we get there to set up, they tell us we're playing on the roof. After trying to argue our way out of it for awhile to no avail, we had to lug our gear up to the roof via to ladders about two feet apart. I had some pictures of it at one time. Fortunately I didn't bring the steel to that one. What we'll do for money???
I also remember playing a place in Sand Point, Idaho back in the late 70's where they had strippers on our breaks. We'd get booed when we started playing, and keep getting notes to take a break.

Doug Beaumier · Post by **Doug Beaumier** » 6 Aug 2007 11:02 pm

Wow, so many strange gigs!

Patty was not patty but Paddy

Joe, are you kidding?

The more I think about that, the more sense it makes.
Wow, so many guys would come to the club to visit her... him... her...eek!

Johnny Rojas · Post by **Johnny Rojas** » 8 Aug 2007 2:05 pm

Here's one of many -

I played a gig out in East Texas somewhere, about six hours away from anything else. The bar we played was packed, and they loved the tunes, fed us chili (they'd had a cookoff that day), gave us beer, put us up for the night, everything. It was an easy, fun gig. Anyway, after the show, we were out back in the owner's trailer, finishing the night off, when cop cars completely surrounded the place. The owner was in possession of some illicit plants, and was sure that we were busted, but after a while it was obvious that the cops weren't interested in the trailer. Turns out one of the bar patrons, who'd been hanging out all night, was a local bank robber on the run. I guess he decided that drinking at a bar where everyone knew him was a good idea. Apparently the cops roughed him up pretty bad, and carried him off unconscious. We bailed for our rooms as soon as the cops were gone. I wish I remembered the name of the town, that was a fun night.

Pat O'Hearn · Post by **Pat O'Hearn** » 8 Aug 2007 8:03 pm

A classic that occurred on a friend’s piano bar gig in Forest Grove, OR.

Somewhere into the late evening, a nasty altercation erupted between a patron and the bartender.

After a few moments of loud and aggressive shouts, threats and gesticulations, the patron stormed out of the club - much to the relief of the clientele.

No sooner had the atmosphere begin to calm when the doors flew open and the offensive individual reappeared with a commercial (pacific northwest-sized) chainsaw - full throttle.

The saw wielding man advanced menacingly toward the bartender and commenced carving the bar in half, sending tufts of naugahyde, splinters of formica and plywood chips flying in all directions.

Satisfied with his efforts when the bar collapsed, the man slowly backed out of the room, gesturing with the saw while gunning its motor, hopped into his truck and sped away.

A thoughtful rendition of Tenderly was chosen to break the stunned ensuing silence.

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