World's Worst Steel Guitarist

[Alan Brookes]

Who is the world's worst steel guitarist ? Here's the place to own up to all the things that would make other steelers' hair stand on end.....

[Doug Beaumier]

no way!... this could be the #1 flame bait post of 2007!

[Ray Montee]

Might it be that over confident to the point of pure arrogance kinda guy, that sits on the bandstand with that ora about him that suggests he is the world's best? He could be bald headed but then again, he could have hair down to the crack of his......
shreded denims. When he gets ahold of the microphone, he won't let go and wrongly figures that every utterance coming out of his mouth, whether soft spoken or vulgar and insulting, is one of the funniest or most intellectual contributions ever made to society. Like "I don't tell you what to do, so don't be up here tellin' me what or how to play this thing!" Of course, the idiot has the ball head of the mike inside his mouth...... Oh, I forgot, that's the Rock & Roll way isn't it?
Not only is his physical appearance insulting to his audience but his booze bottle tipped over at his feet and the smoke from his funny cigarette is about to gag anyone close enough to get a whiff.
His guitar has been badly abused as has his poor, one-time expensive amps that are screaming away at full volume, full treble, full presence and in stereo no less! His doo-wah foot pedal is pumped wildly throughout most of the tunes in a horrid display of non-technique. All of his brightly painted stomp boxes are working against each other as they're trying to their job all at the same time.
Out of tune strings, crooked bar positioning, out of tune pedals and incorrect slants, not to mention the many wrong out of tune strings being plucked and inaccureat scales being run.
Yeah! I think I know this guy and he IS, the world's most terrible wanna-be steel player. He thinks he's great but what about his audience. But then again, he doesn't really care about them, does he?
You've seen him too, or haven't you?

[Eric West]

Ray.

I never noticed your scales being inaccureat..

JUST KIDDING!!

Actually, the worst one?

I don't think she's been born yet.

Off to the gig...

Contending yet again..



EJL

[Andy Sandoval]

Sri Chinmoy

[Mat Rhodes]

Anna Nicole Smith

[Bryan Dickson]

man, you are one cold mug.

[Edward Meisse]

Whew!! At least after reading Ray's post, I know it's not me. I don't smoke.

[basilh]

I DO know who it is, but can't find it in my heart to tell him.
Do YOU know him ?

1. He attends ALL the conventions and has played the SAME set for the past five (Ten or whatever) years.

2. Insists that the E7th is THE tuning for Hawaiian style, and Plays South of the Border, Harbour Lights, Paper Roses etc. with the wrong chords, wrong 'straight Bar' harmonies and wrong timing.

3. The few Hawaiian tunes in his set he plays incorrectly by repeating the first eight bars twice, middle eight and the first eight again, ignoring the different notes on the end of the second and last eight. (They only complicate things)
The key is a complete fifth away from the accepted norm because he finds it easier to play in (D, E, F#. Fill in appropriate one )

4. Took up steel when he retired because he loved the sound of the "Big Ben Hawaiian Band" and has all of their 8 track cartridges.

5. He is currently taking lessons from a Ukulele player who is an honorary member of the 'George Formby' Society.

6. Has just become a member of the 'British West Hartlepool Hawaiian Guitar Appreciation Society' so he can get the free tab of Aloha Oe, and have another convention to terrorise.

7. Says that the Resonator style of bar is much better for Hawaiian playing as it doesn't fall out of his hand so often.

8. Uses other players amps at conventions and complains at the lack of :- Top End, Bottom end, Middle, Reverb, projection etc.
His amp is SO MUCH better, but a bad back, Airline restrictions, blown speaker et al. prevented him from bringing it !!

9. Always manages to find you just before your set and asks you for your recommendations for string gauges for a 27" scale length home constructed guitar he just happens to have with him and wants your opinion on the :- tone, construction, pickup design, colour, jack socket orientation, knob positioning etc., but needs to know now as he can't stay to see your set, he's got you on vhs and cassette anyway.

10. His wife is CONSTANTLY asking you to "Help him a little" with his practising. She is also retired and looks it !!.
(Maybe I'm a tad too fussy)

11. He is a devout user and proponent of flatwound strings. Irrespective of the fact that they are not exactly lively or responsive. They hide his bad bar technique.

This could go on somewhat.
Baz

[David L. Donald]

Well if'n there are 60,000 who TRY to play steel guitar

Then the 4 BILLION who don't all tie for DEAD LAST!

Simple!

[Brian Henry]

Sometimes the audience think its me. Just for a joke when I am tuning up I put the picks the wrong way round and tune up. Then noodle around with "BlueEyes" or another simple song. You would not believe how many times I am reminded that I have the picks on wrongly. Then when the band starts and I play some killer licks and intros, I like to look for them in the audience. Ps I do put my picks on correctly before the band strikes up;!!

[Bob Doran]

All of a sudden I feel a lot better about my playing.
At least I know my place in my band and have no illusions of grandeur.
(If one doesn't have anything nice to say (play), then don't say anything at all!
Bob

[William Steward]

The suggestion of Sri Chimnoy made me smile....but I think it sells him a bit short. He is equally talented as a pianist so to be fair should probably win a 'multi-instrumentalist' category.

[Chris Bauer]

Well I always kinda liked Chinmoy's country instrumental album ("Takin' One On The Chin") - twelve instrumental 'meditations' on "A Way To Survive".

Plus, don't write him off till you've heard his new side-project, Big Gandhi and the Sri-Rite Boys. Really somthing unique!

(Sorry, sometimes things just slip out...)

[Howard Tate]

No opinion, I just wanted to see if I was on the list.

[Herb Steiner]

Chris Bauer wrote

don't write him off till you've heard his new side-project, Big Gandhi and the Sri-Rite Bo

The subject of Gandhi comes up with great reverence, but the man, for all his virtues, had serious shortcomings. To wit:

His constant walking everywhere led to foot problems due to excess callous buildup, inches thick in some parts of his feet;

His vegetarian diet led to osteoporosis in his advanced years, which caused his bones to break easily;

Those same dietary deficiencies and lack of flossing caused gingivitis and other periodontal diseases which resulted in excessively bad breath.

So although his work for peace in mankind was laudible, he was also a super-calloused fragile mystic with extra hallitosis.



My apologies, but references to Gandhi just don't come up that often and you have to jump on the opportunity when it presents itself. My bad.

[Don Walters]

George Formby!

Speaking of names that don't come up often, I haven't heard that one since I left home in '59 (my aunt loved his music).

[David Doggett]

There are too many of us hackers to choose from. This quest for the worst will die of its own success in locating so many worthy contenders.

[Michael Haselman]

My friend Gregg (Delmoe) Plagge, who now lives in Portland and has a bluegrass outfit called the Spitboys. When I played in a band with him in the early 80's, he would sit down on the steel before gigs just to play around. He stunk then and he stinks now. I'm going to send him the link to this. He'll be so proud.

[Charles Davidson]

In my guitar playing days worked with a steel player,he played decent,but because of his attitude everyone despised him,so I guess he would be the worst steel player I've ever know.

[William Steward]

Herb (although this is a bit off topic I know) one of my favourite anecdotes about Sri was a series of visits to the dentist. He arrived at the dentist one day holding his jaw and grimacing...upon examination the dentist found a deep cavity which he then proposed to fill. The dentist out of habit prepared a needle to freeze the lower jaw before drilling. Sri raised his hand and declared he didn't want any freezing. The dentist reluctantly agreed knowing he might have to perform a root canal. After several minutes of drilling he paused to change drill bits and looked down to see tears streaming down the yogi's face. He immediately removed the rubber dam from Sri's face and asked, "Mr. Chimnoy are you sure we can go through with this procedure, the worst is yet to come!". The yogi angrily grunted, (are you ready?)....




"I AM ABLE TO TRANSCEND DENTAL MEDICATION!!!"

[Herbie Meeks]

Kaint do none of that talking with those two dollar words, and this reply will probably give me away ! as the worst Steel Picker ! but what the heck, all that have heard me already know. !!Also, my equipment could also be in the worst list.
Like Yard sale stuff.

My reply is more of a question,? seems the worst Steel,and or/ would be Lead Guitar players, Set up with the most expensive. High Dollar Equipment that money can buy, I know some of you have seen this kind of musician, also some bands let these guys pick, because He also has the best PA sound system available in your area.

Herbie

[Mike Wheeler]

Herb and William....I'm still groaning!! Better cut back on that caffiene, boys!

[Jamie Lennon]

Hmmmm, It has to be ..........................................

[Bill Miller]

It could be me, but in fairness to myself we haven't done an exhaustive search of all the 'third world' countries yet.