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Topic: What To Say |
Bill Taft
From:
Sturgeon Mo. USA * R.I.P.
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 10:26 am |
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I try to use a lesson my dad told me years before he passed on and that was just this.
If you cant say anything nice about someone then just keep it to yourself and dont say anything, and even though I find myself walking off that path some I still hear Dad say if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all.
Thats my thought's.
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btaft 84 Black Emmons Short Key Head 8&5-98 Lacquer Zum Red&Black 8&8-Two Put together Tele's
1985 Evans FET-500 1975 Session 400 1976 Session RV-3
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Marty Pollard
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 11:53 am
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I notice the strange phenomenon that all the 'best' advice comes from dead people.
What's up with that? |
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Anne Marie O Keeffe
From:
Co.Waterford,Ireland.
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 12:50 pm
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That's sound advice Bill and also somewhat challenging.  |
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Jim Phelps
From:
Mexico City, Mexico
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 2:42 pm
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I heard that advice years ago and on the face of it it seems great, but I disagree to a certain degree. There are times when the truth must be told even when it's not what someone wants to hear. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves when the time is to keep quiet or tell the unflattering truth. Sometimes you'll make the right decision, sometimes not. That's the way life is, people!
Another great saying: "Better to remain silent and appear a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt".
I like that one![This message was edited by Jim Phelps on 30 September 2002 at 03:45 PM.] |
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Carter York
From:
Austin, TX [Windsor Park]
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 2:56 pm
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| "If you don't have anything nice to say, then come on over here and sit with me!" |
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Jody Carver
From:
KNIGHT OF FENDER TWEED
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 3:19 pm
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Your dad taught you the right thing,,maybe if more people felt that way,,we wouldn't have the problems we have today.
Its called CONSIDERATION for the other person. A long forgotton art. COMPASSION is
another thing people forgot.
Its "hurray" for me and the "Hell" with the
other guy. Im with your dad on this. |
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Fred Truitt
From:
Port au Port, Newfoundland, Canada
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 3:52 pm
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Marty, there is a mountain of advice coming out of all this which should help you. My question is????????
WHAT IS YOUR REAL PROBLEM?
I ask this on behalf of a lot of frusturated forumites. We really don't know what you are trying to say.
God help you.......Fred |
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Marty Pollard
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 4:24 pm
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What am I trying to say, Fred?
Well, nothing really, just conversing.
Gosh, isn't Tom great? And that Bill's wonderful! And how about Steve? Good fellow! Great weather we're havin', eh? Boy that car gets great mileage! Love and hugs and kisses and goldarnitall, everything is just hunky-dory. It's just one big warm-fuzzy all the time. Did I ask about the weather? Really nice today. (Well it is if you're in construction; not so good if you're a farmer, though!) Boy that Tom is still a good guy! So... anyway... nice weather, eh? |
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Stephen Gambrell
From:
Over there
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 5:05 pm
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That's GREAT advice. Only thing, if nobody ever said anything bad about anybody, killers would go unconvicted, bad politicians(if that's not a redundancy)would be re-elected, and a lot of terrible music would be forced on us. I know that a lot of Forumite's Pollard radar fires up and arms missiles whenever he posts. I know a lot of people's BS detectors light up whenever Bill Hankey posts. And I know a lot of peoples' computers crash whenever I post. So be it.
All that being said, there's WAY too many "reviewers" out there, telling us what to watch, what to eat, WHERE to eat(food critics???), and what to listen to. So it helps when somebody we trust gives his opinion. Had it not been for Mike Bagwell, I'd never have learned to appreciate Tom Morrell. And, had it not been for some better pickers than me, I might own the complete works of the Earl Scruggs Revue. Sorry, I love Earl, but the Revue was terrible. Remember, those "critics" get paid for what they do. If we call a record, or performance, good OR bad, we're stating an at least somewhat informed opinion.
So say something bad about something. Nobody likes everything, did, we'd all still be wearing matching leisure suits to gigs.
God Bless!! |
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Ron Page
From:
Penn Yan, NY USA
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 5:24 pm
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I saw Marty's question this afternoon and I've thought it over. I don't know the answer, but I believe he does have a point, or at the very least an entertaining way of looking at it.
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HagFan
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Mike Spaeth
From:
Springdale, Arkansas
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 5:35 pm
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| I have to agree with Jim. Sometimes the truth is ugly but it must be told. Even Jesus did not mince words, especially with the Pharisees. |
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Donny Hinson
From:
Glen Burnie, Md. U.S.A.
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 6:16 pm
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| Quote: |
| It ain't what you say...it's the way how you say it. |
I believe that's an old song title! |
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Marty Pollard
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Posted 30 Sep 2002 6:22 pm
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Donny, I tried to stick by the old adage, "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague."
The only thing that separates brown nosing from @$$-kissing is depth perception. |
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Ian Finlay
From:
Kenton, UK
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 12:16 am
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I've had my playing praised and criticised, sometimes justly, sometimes not. The thing to remember is IT'S JUST ONE PERSON'S OPINION. Marty, I think that the reason that a number of forumites have a problem with what you post is more about the way you say it, than what you say. There's a world of difference (in print anyway) between "I didn't enjoy his performance" and "he sucks". I don't mind someone telling me (as actually happened) "the first couple of songs were OK, then it all started to sound the same" (doo-wop band). When someone came up and says "you guys are cr@p" I responded that there were 10 of us and 1 of hime and he was welcome to tell us all at once.
You don't need to rub people up the wrong way IN WRITING. Over a beer it's a different matter! That's leg-pulling, whatever you call it.
Mind you, I suspect you know all of this and are just poking the bear with a pointy stick to see what happens!
Cheers all,
Ian |
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Tony Rankin
From:
Land O’ Lakes, FL
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 4:17 am
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Sometimes life calls for us to be brutally honest. Murderers are convicted because witnesses do their civic duty and they testify about the facts of a crime. And, when a trial witness blurts out an opinion, it will not be admitted as evidence unless that witness has been “qualified” by the court as an expert witness.
There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth or offering an opinion when it is your duty to tell the truth or you have been asked for the opinion. However, in an environment like the forum, we don’t have the luxury of seeing the grin on the writer’s face when the post is written, so we may take the words literally rather than the way the writer intended us to take them. That is why, in my opinion, Bill Taft’s father’s advice is 100% correct, particularly when applied to this forum.
When you poke the bear with the stick you may get the expected reaction. However, that bear may simply get up and walk into his cave never to be seen again. I think some pretty big bears (pro-players) have already done that because of some of the stick poking that has occurred here.
We should all be asking ourselves what collective good will come from our posts and what harm might result from our posts. We have too much in common to alienate ourselves and to hurt each other, inadvertently or otherwise.
“That’s all I’m saying about that.”
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Jeff Lampert
From:
queens, new york city
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 7:57 am
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| Quote: |
| that bear may simply get up and walk into his cave never to be seen again. I think some pretty big bears (pro-players) have already done that because of some of the stick poking that has occurred here |
I have seem this point mentioned several times by various posters over the last few months. I take real exception to it since no one has yet mentioned any one pro-player who has left the Forum because of some of these silly posts that are mostly meant to be provacative. I recall seeing some very heated threads in the past where pro-players were bumping heads with some of the Forum members over various types of subjects (tuning methods, new vs. old country music, the Nashville musical culture, etc.) But I don't believe that there is any sort of undercurrent of hostility or meanness on the Forum that has forced any pro-players to leave. If there is, then who left and what were those circumstances that caused that to happen? Otherwise, this "pro-players don't like it here" sentiment doesn't wash. And BTW, there are quite a number of pro-layers who sporadically visit the Forum as the mood suits them. The reason they aren't here all the time is probably because they have other things they would rather be doing. [This message was edited by Jeff Lampert on 01 October 2002 at 08:58 AM.] |
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Bobby Lee
From:
Cloverdale, California, USA
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 9:19 am
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I've been informed that Dave Phillips, who plays steel with Frank Black, is a Georgia native who now lives in Los Angeles. He is a different person from David Phillips, the jazz fusion steel player from San Francisco.
I guess this just shows that you have to be careful what you say, because it can be misunderstood in ways that you never even imagined.
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 Bobby Lee - email: quasar@b0b.com - gigs - CDs
Sierra Session 12 (E9), Williams 400X (Emaj9, D6), Sierra Olympic 12 (F Diatonic), Sierra Laptop 8 (D13), Fender Stringmaster (E13, A6), Roland Handsonic |
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Keith Murrow
From:
Wichita, KS
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 9:42 am
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| .. [This message was edited by Keith Murrow on 26 October 2004 at 03:40 PM.] |
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Ray Jenkins
From:
Gold Canyon Az. U.S.A.
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 10:18 am
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| Quote: |
| Remember, those "critics" get paid for what they do. |
Marty,you didn't tell us you were getting paid for this!!!!How much is b0b paying you? Ray
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Steeling is still legal in Arizona
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Joey Ace
From:
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 5:09 pm
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| Quote: |
| "killers would go unconvicted, bad politicians(if that's not a redundancy)would be re-elected, and a lot of terrible music would be forced on us. |
That's all happening in the real world.
I come here to escape it.
That doesn't meen I want everything sugar-coated. Just civil, and constructive.
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Frank Parish
From:
Nashville,Tn. USA
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 5:29 pm
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| It's a fool that always speaks his mind. It's only your opinion and we all know what goes with that. |
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Lem Smith
From:
Long Beach, MS
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 5:42 pm
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Wow, Keith. EXCELLENT post!
Lem |
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Kevin Hatton
From:
Buffalo, N.Y.
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Posted 1 Oct 2002 7:44 pm
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| Personally, I don't want to be part of a boring forum where everyone agrees with each other and serves tea and crumpets when its over. I enjoy Marty's opinions just like I enjoy everyone elses. If I'm wrong I hope someone tells me. Thats why I participate. Personal muck raking is another matter. |
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Bob Hayes
From:
Church Hill,Tenn,USA
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Posted 3 Oct 2002 3:09 pm
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OK Everyone..."FAMILY HUG!!!!!!""" |
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Johan Jansen
From:
Europe
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Posted 4 Oct 2002 3:59 am
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Keith, you are so right!
quote:
Since January of 1997, The Steel Guitar Forum has been bringing steel players together in a spirit of friendship and a common love of the instrument.
Johan
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please click on the banner to reach the Steeldays 2002 website! 
my web-site
my bands CODand TSC
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