Wives and/or girlfriends on the road

Doug Jones · Post by **Doug Jones** » 12 Nov 2001 1:25 pm

How does your group, artist or management view having your significant other either show up or head out on the road with you? For example: it always seems one player in the group has a partner that wants to occaisionally show up and stay in the motel with them while we're out. Furthermore, with a few exceptions, they want to stay in the same room with their partner and the partner's roomie. Depending on the venue, if there were plenty of rooms, I could see splitting from your roomie to give them the privacy, etc. The last act and current one I'm with both suggest the player get their own seperate room (at their expense) to be with their lovers. What do you think? A question of inconvenience, consideration, compromise? NOTE: this is a family forum; let's keep it clean.

Gary Lee Gimble · Post by **Gary Lee Gimble** » 12 Nov 2001 1:43 pm

Anyway you look at it, your road gig is your job and if the budget doesn't include a friend or spouse, then forget the excess baggage. Regardless what your roomy says, an invited guest in your motel room that isn't public domain is not welcome. Share and share alike, like a club sandwich w/extra mayo! ooops, family show

Gary Lee

Mike Jones · Post by **Mike Jones** » 12 Nov 2001 1:48 pm

When I worked the road with Mandrell, she paid for you a room that you shared with another musician or drummer, in my case.

If your girlfriend or wife came to the show on the road you were responsible for their room. If you were lucky sometimes a couple of wives/girlfriends would travel to the show together and you and the other musician could share the cost of one room. In Vegas, Atlantic City the venues provided the rooms and we got individual rooms.

Steve Stallings · Post by **Steve Stallings** » 12 Nov 2001 2:38 pm

I'm not "on the road" in the conventional sense, but do play in a large radius in Texas. I bought a thirty foot travel trailer that I tow with my F350 just for this purpose. It is so much nicer than staying in a hotel and most of the time, it can be parked at the venue. This is probably not a viable option for those on a tour but works great for mini-tours, weekends.

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Steve Stallings
Bremond, Texas

Bill Nauman · Post by **Bill Nauman** » 12 Nov 2001 2:44 pm

Any Wives or Girlfriends must act as Roadies and Caddies for all Golf games...isnt this an unwritten law somewhere? Bill in Vegas

Ray Montee · Post by **Ray Montee** » 12 Nov 2001 3:52 pm

Back in them olden days again.....
Band leaders out h'yar would NOT allow a wife, girlfriend, date or nabor to sing or play in the band. If they wanted to show up at an out of town gig to watch, they would be expected to get their own room, far, far away from the band....preferably in another motel/hotel.
In those days, the BAND was #1. Personal affairs were 2nd. It worked well back then.

Gene Jones · Post by **Gene Jones** » 12 Nov 2001 4:47 pm

My wife had never accompanied me to "work" on any employment I have ever had....the Army, the Fire Department, or playing in bands.

Larry Behm · Post by **Larry Behm** » 12 Nov 2001 6:04 pm

My wife goes everywhere I go, as do some of the other wives. We are a very close group, we share rooms and just respect the needs of the others.

Larry Behm

Donny Hinson · Post by **Donny Hinson** » 12 Nov 2001 6:46 pm

If there ever was a question that could be answered with...

You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

...this is it.

Smiley Roberts · Post by **Smiley Roberts** » 12 Nov 2001 11:46 pm

If you were a "roughneck" working an oil rig,would you bring your wife w/ you? If you were a policeman,working a "beat",would you bring your wife w/ you? If you worked in a factory,would you bring your wife w/ you,to work? The answer is simple. NO,NO,NO!! I've worked w/ groups that some of the members brought their wives w/ them. "PROBLEM CITY!"
I'm not sayin' that ALL wives are like that,but the majority of them were.

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John Cadeau · Post by **John Cadeau** » 12 Nov 2001 11:50 pm

I guess I got lucky. The last two bands I was in that went on the road everybody got their own room, hence no problem with wives or girlfriends showing up at the gig. Except if the wife, and girlfriend showed up at the same time. To be serious though when youv'e been on the road for a time it sure is nice to be able to have some time with the one you love. I was always happy to have my lovely Mary Lou come and visit me when I was on the road. It kept me sorta sane.
John

Dan Tyack · Post by **Dan Tyack** » 13 Nov 2001 12:45 pm

Back when I was on the road, I usually just went to the wife's house, if her husband wasn't around.....

Jim West · Post by **Jim West** » 13 Nov 2001 12:52 pm

I knew musicians who took their girlfriends on the road and left their wives at home.

Johan Jansen · Post by **Johan Jansen** » 13 Nov 2001 12:57 pm

It's the same all over the world , I guess

Sometimes, when possible, maybe once a year, my wife comes to a concert.
This is work, weekendwarrior or not.Fooling around with girls has nothing to do with music or venues, at offices happens the same. Treat your wife like you wanna be treated. (Ooch, sometimes it's hard.

)JJ[This message was edited by Johan Jansen on 13 November 2001 at 01:06 PM.]

Joe Casey · Post by **Joe Casey** » 13 Nov 2001 6:10 pm

I never had that problem,My Girlfriend always traveled with me,My wife never cared for the music.

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CJC

[This message was edited by Joe Casey on 13 November 2001 at 06:13 PM.]

Al Marcus · Post by **Al Marcus** » 13 Nov 2001 6:17 pm

FWIW- My wife never went where I played, except maybe on two or three special occasions.
I just went to work, just like any other , person went to his factory job, or whatever.

I wouldn't want her to be in some of the "bucket of Bloods" I have worked in. It has worked for us for 54 years!....al

Ray Montee · Post by **Ray Montee** » 14 Nov 2001 11:03 am

Dan Tyack and Joe Casey.....100% Steelmen to the very core. Gee's this is a wonderful profession!

Richard Bass · Post by **Richard Bass** » 14 Nov 2001 12:15 pm

Dan,Joe, I couldn't agree more.

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 14 Nov 2001 12:31 pm

I gotta go with Smiley . . To much chance of dangerous and possible explosive situations. Like mixing water and oil . . . IMHO

Carl West

Frank · Post by **Frank** » 14 Nov 2001 12:47 pm

Well ,As a group , we didn`t range too far from home,but when the "wives" started showing up things went to hell in a hand basket.
During the breaks , we would mingle with the patrons, seems everybody wanted to know the band and we didn`t have a P.R. dept , so we mingled. That is till the Wives showed up, then we were expected to sit with them....
Well misunderstandings and jealousy soon began to rear their nasty heads, and you can figure the rest from there.

But,you know,even after all these years,close to 40,when sitting with friends and playing for our entertainment,damn, If
I don`t still get that same feeling,when I make a good run and go high,I guess, once a steel player, always asteel player[This message was edited by Frank on 14 November 2001 at 12:50 PM.]

David Turner · Post by **David Turner** » 17 Nov 2001 6:32 pm

The wives of band members are a "tight-knit" little group.

They love to get together and gossip (and "snitch!).

Once at a "sit-down" gig, my (ex) wife asked me why I was talking to that lady at the bar.

I tried to explain to her that I was ordering us a drink.

Stay at home ladies ... a woman's place is in the stove!

Glenn Suchan · Post by **Glenn Suchan** » 20 Nov 2001 3:09 pm

Wives or girlfriends out on the road!?!

Heck no! We'd have to keep the bus clean! That'd take the fun right out of it!

Keep on pickin'!
Glenn

...on the other hand they could lug the steel around....naaa, 'wouldn't happen.