wives break up band

Jim Peters · Post by **Jim Peters** » 21 Mar 2005 3:35 am

The wife and I have been playing this gig for almost 10 years. My present(now former) band"Swirl",has been together 2 years, playing the 1st and 3rd Sat. of every month.
Well, lately the other guys' wives have been having trouble with the waiters,claiming poor service. The waiters are claiming that the wives spend no money and are rude. The situation blew up this weekend, and the owner asked the other guys' wives to not come back (I don't blame him).
This last week, I finally got our website up and mostly running. Check it out if you would, before I pull it down again! There are some great sound bites, with yours truly on 6 string, hope you like it! http://www.swirlband.com [This message was edited by Jim Peters on 21 March 2005 at 03:38 AM.][This message was edited by Jim Peters on 21 March 2005 at 03:40 AM.]

Dave Van Allen · Post by **Dave Van Allen** » 21 Mar 2005 6:31 am

Jim, I'm sorry to hear about this, but you will find another gig- there's always another gig...

an interesting side note- yesterday was the wedding anniversary of John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Bill Hatcher · Post by **Bill Hatcher** » 21 Mar 2005 8:44 am

I don't bring my wife to gigs. This is my business and I keep it that way. Next time you go into a bank or your grocery store or any other business, ask "how many of you guys bought your wife to work with you today?".

The waiters just might be right.

Just my opinion.

Howard Tate · Post by **Howard Tate** » 21 Mar 2005 8:45 am

Too bad. I like the song list, well done too. About the only kind of job where that could happen.

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Howard, 'Les Paul Recording, Zum S12U, Vegas 400, Boss ME-5, Boss DM-3
http://www.Charmedmusic.com

Kevin Hatton · Post by **Kevin Hatton** » 21 Mar 2005 9:38 am

This is classic. There are two MAIN things that break up bands. Wives and girl friends opening their mouths and injecting themselves into band business. Its a sure killer. [This message was edited by Kevin Hatton on 21 March 2005 at 09:39 AM.]

Jim Peters · Post by **Jim Peters** » 21 Mar 2005 12:36 pm

Kevin, I couldn't agree more. I didn't lose the gig, only had to cancel April, I'll have another band together by May.
It's always something, and the music business never changes!JP

Donny Hinson · Post by **Donny Hinson** » 21 Mar 2005 1:30 pm

From my past experience (playing over 40 years in bars and clubs), poor service kinda limits how much money you can spend. On the other hand, poor tipping (or not tipping at all) generally leads to poor service.

Tony Prior · Post by **Tony Prior** » 21 Mar 2005 3:40 pm

after playing music and playing in bands for probably 20 years..my first wife , who participated and pretty much came to gigs and rehearsals for many many years, gave me an ultimatum in the early 80's...

"music or me"...

She told the shrink it was time for me to grow up..

He told her..( in a privates session )

"I hope you are gonna' like living alone"

t
[This message was edited by Tony Prior on 23 March 2005 at 04:53 AM.]

Bill Hatcher · Post by **Bill Hatcher** » 21 Mar 2005 4:45 pm

Tony. Funny, my first wife said that too. That's how mine also became a "first" wife.

Les Anderson · Post by **Les Anderson** » 21 Mar 2005 6:10 pm

By the sounds of it, the establishment wants your wives to spend $100.00 to every $50.00 they pay you.

Sure glad I never worked in place like that!

Eric West · Post by **Eric West** » 21 Mar 2005 6:19 pm

No wives for a couple of reasons. They don't like girl friends, they cut your wages, and if not kept in hand, can be the ones when everybody's pulling their plugs to request "ONE MORE SWEET HOME ALABAMA!".

When a person or group of people put things like families, marriages etc. over music, I have to wonder about their dedication.

Mostly, except on really hot days or the coldest nights, they should stay in the car with the kids.

I think I relayed how Piggy Patty our old Bass player's wife had drained the cash register of cash from writing checks for the poker machine.

This we found out after making a stink about them not having left a check, or having cash.

The owner got rousted out of bed to come open up the poker machine. Turns out she'd written 750$ in checks.

The next day we found out that all but the first 200$ one were bad.

No more bass player.

EJL

Steve Hitsman · Post by **Steve Hitsman** » 22 Mar 2005 4:45 am

Jim,

I heard Angela sing once with Twilight Jump... you've got the best part of the band.

David L. Donald · Post by **David L. Donald** » 22 Mar 2005 5:05 am

Let's not forget the wives having affairs with other band members...
and the occasional knifing or shooting inccident....
Been victum of former, witnessed the latter...

And random drunken attempts to create jeolousy,
when you don't "Notice" them while sight reading...
Most likely cause of latter...

No, wives and gigs rarely jibe,
more than one night every 2-3 months...
just to keep them calm that "IT IS A JOB, darlin'".
DD

Herb Steiner · Post by **Herb Steiner** » 22 Mar 2005 6:10 am

For you, it's work... for them, it's a social event. Bad combination.

Quote from Dr. Kathy (Mrs. Herb): "Herb, you don't hang out at the clinic all day, I don't hang out at the job all night."

Works for us. Plus, the musician doesn't need to have part of his concentration spent on "is she bored? Is she getting drunk? Will there be a problem? Etc.?"

P.S. Getting drunk doesn't apply to Kathy.

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Herb's Steel Guitar Pages
Texas Steel Guitar Association

[This message was edited by Herb Steiner on 22 March 2005 at 07:34 AM.]

Charles French · Post by **Charles French** » 22 Mar 2005 10:23 am

Anyway, you don't carry food to a feast!

Gene Jones · Post by **Gene Jones** » 22 Mar 2005 10:34 am

During the years that I "worked" playing music, it was always a special event if I could ever convince my wife to go with me to work. She always said she would go with me to work when I decided to go with her to her job at the Oklahoma City Police Department where she was the Supervisor of Criminal Records!

I found her job boring, and she found my job boring....so with a few exceptions, we didn't try to mix them together.
www.genejones.com

Jim Phelps · Post by **Jim Phelps** » 22 Mar 2005 11:05 am

I've seen all these situations happen with band members' wives and girls friends, but never with my own wife or girlfriend (by the way, the girlfriends were when I didn't have a wife!). It seems I'm lucky.

In the 2-1/2 years I played with Lorena Prater's band, my wife went to all the gigs she was able to attend, which was all but a few. She even travelled in the RV with us same as the rest of the band. She ran camcorder and digital still camera on many gigs and manned (or "womanned"?) the table selling CD's, T-shirts, photos and all the other promotional items. She would never think of sticking her nose into band business, or getting plastered and embarassing me and causing trouble. The band and band-followers all loved her as a friend and practically a band-member. She has a much sweeter personality than I do. (That probably is no surprise to some of you...!)

This band was unusual, though. One of the very very few were everyone got along on and off the bandstand and were all truly friends. Too bad that's so rare. The only reason I left the band was because we'd planned to move here for years. If I could still play with them, I would.

My first wife (R.I.P., she passed away last year) was substantially less "polished".... but still never caused me trouble with any bands (she found better ways!)

Guess there are always exceptions....
[This message was edited by Jim Phelps on 22 March 2005 at 11:19 AM.]

Ben Lawson · Post by **Ben Lawson** » 22 Mar 2005 1:32 pm

My wife comes to all the WDVR radio shows because she is an "administravive assistant", whatever that means. She will go to Atlantic City with me but only for the early shows, 2-6 or 6-10. We usually make it a dinner date before the gig. She doesn't go to any late night gigs. Playing does provide a good portion of my income but if it becomes an issue in my marriage, she stays and the gigs go. I will never quit but I would cut back on the long distance jobs. We plan on going to the Choo-Choo, St. Louis and Norwalk shows this year. She always enjoys the shows and the people we have met over the years.

Jim Peters · Post by **Jim Peters** » 22 Mar 2005 3:49 pm

As some know, my wife is the singer in my band, her behavior is NEVER an issue. I can't say the same about a former wife,I finally forbid her to come to any gigs, and we got divorced soon after,thank the good lord! BTW, I did not lose the gig, the band will be playing the 1st an 3rd Sat of every month, just with different a different bass, drums and keys. JimP

Chris Walke · Post by **Chris Walke** » 22 Mar 2005 4:50 pm

Guess most aren't as blessed as me. My wife loves that I play and comes to many of my shows, invites her friends, family, and clients. I record with a number of friends who are singersongwriters - she sells the cds in her salon.

Then again, she met at a gig, so she knew who I was from the get-go. As long as I behave like the married man that I am, she has no issue with the women at the pubs. I'm sure it would be a different story if I flirted with the ladies.

Also helps that my bandmates treat her with respect.

Larry Strawn · Post by **Larry Strawn** » 24 Mar 2005 7:45 am

I quess I'm one of the "Blessed" My wife plays Bass, and is one of our lead, and harmoney singers. If I'm not booking jobs fast enough to suit her, she takes over!!lol.. Now all my X's that all live in Texas??? You can quess why they're X's!
Larry

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Emmons S/D-10, 3/4, Sessions 400 Ltd. Home Grown E/F Rack
"ROCKIN COUNTRY"

Don Joslin · Post by **Don Joslin** » 24 Mar 2005 11:12 am

Jim, man your wife has a great set of pipes!

My experience on the road was in the 70's-80's mostly in disco type dance clubs. Most of the club owners required us to socialize with the guests - that meant the women. The rational was that if the women were there then the men would certainly show up and buy drinks. The band actually cost me more girlfriends than girlfriends cost me band members.

Don

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Country Music - (kun'tree myoo'zik) n. - Three chords and the
--------- truth.

Jim Peters · Post by **Jim Peters** » 24 Mar 2005 5:06 pm

Don J, thanks, she's the best I,ve ever heard! You,ve been quiet lately, where you been? jp

Don Joslin · Post by **Don Joslin** » 24 Mar 2005 6:59 pm

Surgery on Dec. 23 - had my whole cervical spine reconstructed - a vertebrae replaced, all re-aligned and reinforced with titanium plates and screws, and fused from C4 down to T1. Sooo, I been pretty much flat on my back since around the first of November. Much better now. Thanks for asking!

Don

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Country Music - (kun'tree myoo'zik) n. - Three chords and the
--------- truth.