Egos built on insincere compliments.

Fred Glave · Post by **Fred Glave** » 24 May 2012 9:52 am

"Ive never heard anyone play like you do"

"Your playing brings tears to my eyes"

"Your playing really stands out"

Theresa Galbraith · Post by **Theresa Galbraith** » 24 May 2012 10:16 am

I don't understand why you have to say good or bad to your steel player.

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 24 May 2012 10:52 am

Well, Theresa, imagine if your brother walked up to a steel player who just finished a set and didn't say anything one way or the other about his playing. The very absence of a positive remark would likely be interpreted negatively. So the challenge is to find something to say that can be at least mildly positive, without lying. The humor just comes from the many potential ways to walk that delicate line.

Theresa Galbraith · Post by **Theresa Galbraith** » 24 May 2012 11:07 am

Jim,
I understand that, rather than lying I sure would say something positive. I would never be rude or lie.

Rick Myrland · Post by **Rick Myrland** » 24 May 2012 11:32 am

If you don't like what you hear why not just walk out? That keeps you happy and leaves more room for people having fun. Last week I saw a band on Broadway in Nashville that was, by any measure, awful (even my non-musicians friends commented on it, so that was telling). We had one beer and went a few doors down to a great band: problem solved.

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 24 May 2012 11:32 am

Personally, I do agree with you Theresa. I think there's always something positive that can be said, even if it's just how wonderful it is to find another steel player in my part of the country.

Jack Stanton · Post by **Jack Stanton** » 24 May 2012 11:41 am

How about "nice stee1"?, or "you don't see too many of those things around!".

Dick Wood · Post by **Dick Wood** » 24 May 2012 12:07 pm

Nobody's ever said nothin to me.

Bud Angelotti · Post by **Bud Angelotti** » 24 May 2012 12:18 pm

How about, "That was Real."
By the way, is it my imagination or is everybody giddy lately?

Jim Seay · Post by **Jim Seay** » 24 May 2012 12:50 pm

Well said Rick! I agree with you!

Roual Ranes · Post by **Roual Ranes** » 24 May 2012 2:13 pm

From one steel player: "Your not playing what I want to hear"!
From another steel player: "You sure have a nice tone" !

Bo Legg · Post by **Bo Legg** » 24 May 2012 7:04 pm

I think after you get older your ego fads and attitude takes over.
I got to the place I didn’t care what a patron thought about my guitar playing and I sure didn’t give a dang about another musicians opinion long before I started playing PSG.
I don’t like Steel Guitar jams/shows. Simply because I can’t sit and listen to Steel Guitar or any instrument more than about 4 songs at one time.
I had to endure almost 2 hours of nothing but Buddy Emmons one time on a trip just because I wasn’t going to say anything about it to a band member who thought he was doing me a favor.
You have to sell me on how great you are in 4 songs or less. Longer than that you better have a good comedy act or I’m out of there.
I will always tell a guitar player or Steel Guitar Player in a band that he’s great, with the exception of those that get too much up front by playing over or overplaying. In that case I just wave at the band as I leave.
I didn’t go there to hear a guitar or steel guitar concert.

Ray Montee · Post by **Ray Montee** » 24 May 2012 8:07 pm

Bo! Since you shaved off that facial hair.....
your Avatar looks almost identical to Newt Gingrich!

Bob Hickish · Post by **Bob Hickish** » 25 May 2012 5:41 am

One I'll always remembered was --

"Man ! when it comes to musical expression , you have an addle mind" .

I didn't know what it meant , but I thanked him anyway .

as I stand here in my leathers and orange scarf , I say ,

"why ! yes I play steel , Why do you ask "

Bo / Newt -- ????? who knows ? Maybe !! ----

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 25 May 2012 5:54 am

come to think of it, I've never seen them both at the same time...

john widgren · Post by **john widgren** » 25 May 2012 7:17 am

Like the man said:

Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and have folks think you a fool, than open your mouth and confirm it.

Peace,

JW

Stuart Legg · Post by **Stuart Legg** » 25 May 2012 7:52 am

Likewise I'm sure.
Perhaps there are just not enough silver bullets to go around to end this topic.

Steve Spitz · Post by **Steve Spitz** » 26 May 2012 1:41 pm

I just finished a gig subbing for a well known (Dave Easley) steeler.. Last minute , no time to prep and some stuff I didn't know. All good musicians, I was nervous , and I really sucked. They were super nice, told me I sounded good , etc..
All the things I would have said to someone out of kindness.
Point is, most folks will say something encouraging, even if you stink it up. Rather than see it as an ego issue , it clarifies the value of all the compliments we receive even when we think we play well.
When all is said and done ,I need to practice. A lot more, for me. Regardless of any others remarks complimenting my playing.
I always get kind remarks from the crowd,and accept them graciously .
Ego? Mine is in check. I play a lot , but I need to practice more.

Mike Poholsky · Post by **Mike Poholsky** » 26 May 2012 1:50 pm

"Man, you gave 'er hell in the middle!"

Mike Cass · Post by **Mike Cass** » 27 May 2012 8:02 pm

He who believes his own press will someday fall victim to it...........
If any egos need a reality check, go listen to Buddy play 4 Wheel Drive.. that oughtta get 'er done. Happy Memorial Day.

MC

Chris LeDrew · Post by **Chris LeDrew** » 27 May 2012 8:12 pm

Rick Myrland wrote:If you don't like what you hear why not just walk out? That keeps you happy and leaves more room for people having fun.

I was playing steel on the main stage in Dallas during the 2007 convention for the Thursday night talent show. A legendary steel player was sitting right in front when we started. He left after two songs. I was very relieved he did so, because I wasn't able to concentrate while he was sitting there. Ha. Ironic and humorous all at once. He was definitely not impressed by my playing, and I wasn't able to perform at capacity due to my assumption that he thought I was dismal. I laughed the whole thing off later, but at the time it was a tad disconcerting.

In another instance, I was playing Jeff Bradshaw's Alberta show in 2008 on the same bill as Don Helms and Doug Jernigan. Both complimented me on my set. I sort of knew they were just being friendly, but man did I ride out those compliments for a LONG time!

Bryant Aycock · Post by **Bryant Aycock** » 28 May 2012 10:25 pm

My favorite steel player and mentor came to see me play one night. when the show was over, he came to me and said, "You played some stuff I've never heard." I still wonder what he meant.

Tony Prior · Post by **Tony Prior** » 29 May 2012 2:04 am

yep, people who are listening tell us all sorts of stuff...great stuff...can't wait to get home to tell my wife how great I am...because someone said so...

So I go home and I tell her and then she says...

Let me have the Tascam, I'll get back to you...

admin · Post by **b0b** » 29 May 2012 6:22 am

Now you guys all have me wondering about the musicians I play with. Do they really like my playing, or are they just being polite?

Greg Booth · Post by **Greg Booth** » 29 May 2012 7:33 am

Chris's post about being nervous because somebody you admire is in the house is something I have always struggled with. When I started playing steel nearly 40 yrs ago I would be petrified when a great player came to my gig, but then after a few years of playing I would hope for a picker to come in just to create some adrenaline. The funny thing is that it's a game that is mostly all in your mind! Just recently I was playing a festival show where some super picker friends were around and they were going to be at my set. I was self conscious and nervous and didn't play my best, then it turns out they missed the whole thing! I've had the other thing happen too, you spot a player in the crowd and play well because finally somebody with ears is listening, then they walk by and it's not them after all! When do the critical ears of a fellow player go from being a distraction to a motivator? And should it even be happening?

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