Nothing

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 26 Jun 2010 5:07 pm

Take any number, subtract one.
Take the same number, add one.
Multiply the answers to the above two questions together.
Add one.
Take away the square of the number you first thought of.

What do you have left ?

Rick Collins · Post by **Rick Collins** » 28 Jun 2010 9:02 am

Alan Brookes wrote:Take any number, subtract one.
Take the same number, add one.
Multiply the answers to the above two questions together.
Add one.
Take away the square of the number you first thought of.

What do you have left ?

I asked my dog the answer to this and he said nothing.

He's not only smart; he has very good taste.
I placed a hot dog and a bowl of oatmeal in front of him and told him to choose the one that tastes better.
He chose the hot dog.

Roger Crawford · Post by **Roger Crawford** » 28 Jun 2010 11:05 am

Off topic for sure, but my dog like cheese grits.

admin · Post by **b0b** » 28 Jun 2010 11:13 am

If you take away the square, what you have left is the hip.

Roger Crawford · Post by **Roger Crawford** » 28 Jun 2010 12:50 pm

I get -1. Do I win?

Paul Graupp · Post by **Paul Graupp** » 28 Jun 2010 2:36 pm

No !! You didn't book with ORBITZ !!

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 28 Jun 2010 4:27 pm

You folks should go back to school and study Algebra.

Archie Nicol · Post by **Archie Nicol** » 28 Jun 2010 4:39 pm

Is that `Day` or `Emmons` Algebra?

ORBITZ? Sounds like Bernie Winters' dog when he lost his nose!

Arch.

Travis Hillis · Post by **Travis Hillis** » 28 Jun 2010 5:12 pm

Alan Brookes wrote:Take any number, subtract one.
Take the same number, add one.
Multiply the answers to the above two questions together.
Add one.
Take away the square of the number you first thought of.

What do you have left ?

Nothing...

Roger Crawford · Post by **Roger Crawford** » 28 Jun 2010 6:54 pm

Dang, I missed the "add one" statement at the end. That would change my answer to nada. However, too little, too late. Next time I'll book with Orbitz.

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 29 Jun 2010 7:09 am

Any time someone presents you with one of those "think of a number" problems, let the number be x. X always disappears before the end of the problem leaving you with numbers that the questioner has introduced. In my example...

Take any number, subtract one. x - 1
Take the same number, add one. x + 1
Multiply the answers to the above two questions together. (x-1)(x+1) = x²-1
Add one. x²
Take away the square of the number you first thought of. x²-x² = 0

What do you have left ? 0

Rick Collins · Post by **Rick Collins** » 29 Jun 2010 7:58 am

Alan, my dog Egor confirms your algebraic structure.
Animals continue to amaze me __ nothing more logical than an animal or a computer.
I once had a parrot that understood algebra.
I named her Polynomial.

basilh · Post by **basilh** » 29 Jun 2010 12:12 pm

I had a parrot that understood geometry, but I lost it, now he's Polygon..

Scott Shipley · Post by **Scott Shipley** » 29 Jun 2010 12:34 pm

A mathematician, an architect, and a musician were arguing about who's dog was smarter. They devised a plan to find out. They placed three bowls of dog food in the middle of a room with each dog's name written on it's respective bowl. They watched in amazement as the mathematician's dog went to his bowl and wrote "E = MC2" on the floor out of the dog food. Then, the architect's dog found his bowl, and proceeded to construct an exact scale model of the Brooklyn Bridge with his dog food, complete with trusses.
The musician's dog showed up late, ate all the dog food, bleeped the other two dogs and left.

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 30 Jun 2010 3:47 pm

That same musician told the architect and mathematician that he could get his dog to do whatever he asked. They didn't believe him, so he picked up his dog, threw him on the fire, and shouted, "Get off !" and the dog did.

Rick Collins · Post by **Rick Collins** » 1 Jul 2010 6:47 am

Nothing is friendlier to mankind than a dog.
Dog __ man's best friend? Yes, but there is an exception.

One of my favorite Rodney Dangerfield quotes:

"I was so ugly when I was a kid my mother tied a steak around my neck so the dog would play with me.
Mother claimed we owned the only dog ever, that would not eat steak."

admin · Post by **b0b** » 2 Jul 2010 10:18 pm

Google Nothing Extension

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 3 Jul 2010 8:57 am

Nothing nevermore by nobody nohow; no way.

Travis Hillis · Post by **Travis Hillis** » 3 Jul 2010 6:26 pm

Bob Knight · Post by **Bob Knight** » 5 Jul 2010 2:23 am

More persons, on the whole, are humbugged by believing in nothing, than by believing too much.

-P. T. Barnum

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 5 Jul 2010 9:49 am

...on the other hand, many people are humbugged into believing something on faith, when the wise realize that nothing is proven.

Rick Collins · Post by **Rick Collins** » 5 Jul 2010 10:35 am

Bob Knight wrote:More persons, on the whole, are humbugged by believing in nothing, than by believing too much.

-P. T. Barnum

...not so sure about that, Bob. If I believe that, I may be believing too much.

One of P.T. Barnum's clowns might have given him that information as a joke.

...just seeking information:
Do you wrap your Christmas gifts in Bah Humbug wrapping paper?
It warns your recipient in advance that it will be something cheap, before it's opened.

Alan Brookes · Post by **Alan Brookes** » 5 Jul 2010 3:50 pm

Wow, Rick, wjat a great idea.

You're a genius.

That could make a fortune.

Rick Collins · Post by **Rick Collins** » 7 Jul 2010 10:06 am

Alan, I was just trying to think of something to say, but could think of nothing __ now I've said it.

One Christmas I received a green envelope with white and black dollar-signs all over the outside; inside was a $5 quick-pick California lottery ticket.

I still have a job.

Roual Ranes · Post by **Roual Ranes** » 11 Jul 2010 5:48 pm

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