Females in bands

Alan Rudd · Post by **Alan Rudd** » 13 Apr 2010 3:28 pm

Recently spent 6 weeks working on material for a band with a female singer. We had to make sure we got her stuff right, so we seldom worked on any of the guys' stuff. She bailed just before the gig. That will probably be my first and last.

Jim Lindsey (Louisiana) · Post by **Jim Lindsey (Louisiana)** » 13 Apr 2010 5:01 pm

I've worked on and off with several groups that had female musicians and/or singers. I loved 'em.

I've never had a problem with them ... well, I take that back ... I did once.

The only problem I ever had working with females was an all-girl band I played with one night. We were doing "Stand By Your Man" and (since I was the only guy in the group) the three girl singers in the band thought it'd be fun to come over and stand by me & and run their fingers through my hair and rub their hands all over me while we were playing the song. Not the easiest way to concentrate on my steel playing, but it was fun!

I was definitely digging it and thinking "This is my kind of gig" ... when, suddenly, I'm faced with the dreadful apparition of my wife standing in front of the stage staring daggers into me while slinging curses that turned the night air even darker ... she'd picked that moment to walk into the club and see me playing steel in the arms of three drop-dead gorgeous babes.

I learned that night that she was jealous of more than just my steel. Too bad she wasn't a musician and could understand these things. Had my ex-wife been a steel player herself instead of a jealous life-sucking vampire from which there was no escape, she and I might still be married today. We could have made beautiful music together instead of sounding like a dog & cat locked in mortal combat. I doubt seriously if I'll ever marry again, but if I ever do I just hope she's a musician!

William Sender · Post by **William Sender** » 13 Apr 2010 5:48 pm

Just keep going at it!

Talent is truly blind. One of my favorite bass players of all time is Catherine Popper.

Jody Sanders · Post by **Jody Sanders** » 13 Apr 2010 8:56 pm

Jim, I did just that. After 16 years, I finally married again, and she is a musician. Jody.

Drew Howard · Post by **Drew Howard** » 14 Apr 2010 4:33 am

Women = divas
Men = drunks

Take your pick.

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 14 Apr 2010 7:35 am

I have worked with both other women and men who were problems. There are male issues (always right,loud,lewd) and female issues (the same as males and sometimes emotional) but the main point is can they play and act in proffesional manner!

Larry Hamilton · Post by **Larry Hamilton** » 14 Apr 2010 8:09 am

I have played with several women band members over the the past 35+ years, some singers, bassists, drummers, pianists. Without details most were good people and musicians. Like most guys when they are younger they tend to act like younger kids then mature through the years. My experiences have been positive toward female artists in the band. None of the ones I worked with ever shied away from carrying in and setting up their own equipment as well as helping in general.

I think my only negative experience was when a band leader and his bass playing wife were have trouble that ended in divorce. Both of them made it hard everyone, whew!!

Just my experience. Thanks for listening.

Jim Lindsey (Louisiana) · Post by **Jim Lindsey (Louisiana)** » 14 Apr 2010 9:39 am

Hi, Jaclyn,
It's true that there's a lot of bands out there where individuals or the whole band either have or create issues that are difficult and/or frustrating to deal with (regardless of whether or not it's an all-male, all-female or mixed group). But, it's also true that there are bands out there that have that just right chemistry, no attitudes, everyone in the band having fun and playing with professional demeanor.

In my 30 year career as a steel guitarist, I've worked with 15 bands (many of them for only a short stint because I was military and being moved around by the Air Force). Out of those 15 bands, there were 4 that I really loved working with: Ray Dee & The Midnight Riders (later called Sweet Grass), The Barefoot Brothers, Whatta Band and Ty Herndon.

Those four groups had the right chemistry and everyone in the band was not only professional in their playing and approach, but also they were like family having fun as well as totally supportive of each other as band members.

It's funny that out of the 15 bands I've worked with, only 4 were what you'd call totally ideal bands. The rest had many of the typical issues that bands can often face and those issues have to be taken in stride or dealt with if the group is going to work favorably.

Answering your question, "but the main point is can they play and act in professional manner", as best I can based on my own experiences with mixed groups, I have to say a resounding "Yep, they sure can play and act in a professional manner." Although I have seen bands where everyone acted normal and professional off stage, but on stage they were like a pack of wild jackals let out of a cage.

I had to laugh along with you over those guys who turned you down because you were female. I also know how it feels to be turned down for a gig based on gender. While in-between bands years ago I answered an ad for a steel guitarist position with a band called The Rough Riders. I quickly discovered they were an all-female band (and I'm not even going to try to imagine how those girls got the name Rough Riders

) ... I was also quickly turned down and told that they did not want any male players in their band. Of course, that was their choice and I respected it ... plus, there were other bands needing a steel guitarist.

Except for getting in trouble with my ex-wife on one occasion while playing with an all-female band

, I've always had positive experiences with mixed groups.

Earnest Bovine · Post by **Earnest Bovine** » 14 Apr 2010 10:20 am

Jim Lindsey wrote: Except for getting in trouble with my ex-wife on one occasion while playing with an all-female band , I've always had positive experiences with mixed groups.

Sounds like all your experiences with female musicians were good. It was the experience with the female ex-wife that was not good.

Dave Grafe · Post by **Dave Grafe** » 14 Apr 2010 2:14 pm

I'll gladly work behind Joni Harms anytime, anywhere, yep you betcha!

Larry Baker · Post by **Larry Baker** » 14 Apr 2010 5:20 pm

Personally, I like working with a female singer. There is a lot of good material out there for girl singers, and mosts crowds want to hear some of that material. The other band members (guys) thought she should not get equal pay since she didn't play an instrument, but you know what??? She furnished the P.A. No consideration given for that. Larry B.

Ray Campbell · Post by **Ray Campbell** » 16 Apr 2010 4:58 am

One of the best bands I ever had consisted of two women and two men. The women were a mother and daughter team. Mom played drums and daughter played bass and keyboards, often at the same time. Both sang (very well) and the harmony was excellent, whether just the two of them or the four of us. Mom had to quit because of health issues but the daughter still does her thing in one of the top country(?) groups in the state. But I've also been in groups with females and there were sometimes issues. I think that's just the nature of things. Good luck in your job hunt. Nick, hope to see you soon.