Females in bands

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 10 Apr 2010 8:10 am

I have been running an add in Houston looking for a new band to play lead/steel with. One band answered and was very interested. They have been looking for a replacement for over 3 months. That is until they found out I was a woman. I did not note that in the add. They told me that a female would crimp the style. He said they cuss and like to go out back and water a tree together. They felt a women would be uncomfortable. I was actualy ok with the cussing, boys will be boys. I have to admit the tree would tax my talents!
Next add I will add "female".

Richard Damron · Post by **Richard Damron** » 10 Apr 2010 8:20 am

Hang in there, Lady. If you're a good musician then someone will appreciate your talents - musical, that is.

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 10 Apr 2010 8:24 am

Thanks Richard. I have been playing for over 45 years and I just got a laugh from those guys. They are all older guys but like I said boys are always boys, even if they are over 50!

Rick Barnhart · Post by **Rick Barnhart** » 10 Apr 2010 8:25 am

Jaclyn Jones wrote: and like to go out back and water a tree together.

Together? Yikes!

Edward Meisse · Post by **Edward Meisse** » 10 Apr 2010 8:36 am

I think the younger guys would find it less of a problem. Attitudes are changing. But it's difficult to teach old dogs new tricks........so to speak.

Don Discher · Post by **Don Discher** » 10 Apr 2010 9:07 am

I've had the same girl in my band for 30 years and wouldn't have it any other way.She started at age 18 and missed a short time giving birth to her two kids but we still play 2 or 3 times a month.I think it all boils down to respect.

Dave Grafe · Post by **Dave Grafe** » 10 Apr 2010 9:09 am

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there, Jaclyn, I believe you can do a lot better than that and I have never heard you play.

My daughter once applied for a job as an office manager for a large construction firm. The owner, mindful of the "working man's" world, suggested that fellows coming in from the worksite might occasionally use some rough language in the office and gingerly asked her if she would be be able to handle it. My daughter, having been raised in a world of musicians and artists, replied with something along the lines of "Oh, no problem I'd probably just tell them to shut the f#^& up!"

She got the job....

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 10 Apr 2010 9:17 am

He said they cuss and like to go out back and water a tree together.

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 10 Apr 2010 9:24 am

A picture says a thousand words!

Ray Montee · Post by **Ray Montee** » 10 Apr 2010 10:57 am

During my many years of 'band playing'......

women in the band were taboo!!

Nothing derog was EVER SAID about any woman but the band leaders had found over the years that sooner or later, two or more of the men in the band would sooner or later split up the band with their ego/pack control mentality caused by their undying desire to be the first and/or ONLY, to conquer the new gal. It was a guy kinda thing.

It was typically the drummer or banjer player that would initiate such an issue. While they were locked in conflict and the band was beginning to suffer, the skinny fiddle player with the great looking automobile, would usually move in on their conceived private territory.

Hopefully times are changing. Good Luck to you in your playing-job search!

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 10 Apr 2010 11:17 am

That ego thing was part of the issue in my last band. After 4 years of the bass player always being right, no matter if he was dead wrong, I gave up. That and lack of proffesional behavior. His wife played drums and it was their band. If both of us aggreed, he always did not. We would suggest the opposite of what we wanted so he would do the thing we did want!

Dave Hopping · Post by **Dave Hopping** » 10 Apr 2010 11:17 am

There's certainly no fuss when an "all-girl" band advertises for players and specifies that only women musicians will be considered.

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 10 Apr 2010 11:52 am

I didn't think it was wrong, just thought the reason was funny.

Larry Robbins · Post by **Larry Robbins** » 10 Apr 2010 12:24 pm

Hi Jaclyn,
I'm one of your subs so I have heard you play. It may just be a ego thing!! Sorry to say but a lot of fellows just plain are jeaolus of a Gal thats a better player than them!!

and thats the cold hard truth!! as long as there is not a problem with any "monkey business" going on between the guys and any Gals in the group, should not be a problem

Good luck in your search...I am sure you will be fine!

Larry

Danny Bates · Post by **Danny Bates** » 10 Apr 2010 1:19 pm

Some of the girls I've played in bands with will make sure they cuss worse then the guys and then leave a higher watermark on the tree!

Great pic Barry.

Ransom Beers · Post by **Ransom Beers** » 10 Apr 2010 1:29 pm

May be they are afraid you'll take their men away from them,hee,hee.I have a very good friend who is a steeler & I love to jam with her,plays a damn good bass too.

Jody Sanders · Post by **Jody Sanders** » 10 Apr 2010 2:41 pm

Hi Jaclyn. I am so sorry you are having these problems. I fronted a band on Surfside beach 5 nites per week and had a female piano player and she sang her rear off. Harmony or lead vocal. When I hired her, I hired her because of her talent. At one time. Janet Lynn and I played twin steels in a band. Worked great. Please don't be discouraged by these neanderthals. Your talent will win out. Come to the 1st. Sunday in May steel club meeting in Katy. Hang in there and I will see you down the road. Jody.

Jack Patty · Post by **Jack Patty** » 10 Apr 2010 2:42 pm

Hi Jaclyn. Sorry that your having a trouble with narrow minded musicians where your at. My best to you on your job search.... Your friend from the north side of houston.... Jack

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 10 Apr 2010 4:55 pm

Over the years have worked with a lot of ladies in bands, Seems it works best when it's HER band,and SHE runs things.

YOU BETCHA,DYK?BC.

Robert Harper · Post by **Robert Harper** » 10 Apr 2010 5:04 pm

Don Discher, you made sure she respected you right, sorry, kidding. I work in a quite different environment and the guys don't want no gals. I am shocked myself as they are younger than I. A lot younger, which isn't all that difficult anymore.

Paul King · Post by **Paul King** » 10 Apr 2010 5:36 pm

Jaclyn, I see it like this, it is their loss. The thought of someone not wanting a lady around because of their language or deeds just floors me. Be patient, someone will call and give you the opportunity you are looking for.

Roual Ranes · Post by **Roual Ranes** » 10 Apr 2010 6:18 pm

I HAVE SEEN THE CASE WHERE THE MEMBERS WIVES CAUSE TROUBLE IF THERE IS A WOMAN IN THE BAND.

Alan Tanner · Post by **Alan Tanner** » 11 Apr 2010 3:27 am

Interesting subject. I have worked in many bands with women in them, and I gotta say, it usually ended up in some sort of problems. I would also say on thinking back, that it was almost always caused by either someones wife, or the lady herself becoming jealous of something or other. TWO females is worse, especially singers. Three times in my experience, it degenerated into "she sang MY song" or, "look at what she is wearing"...etc etc. This got very tiresome and I determined many years ago NOT to go thru that again if I could avoid it. Married couples are better...but if they are having a spat and not speaking it carries over to the stage, and they will often look for support from the other band members, which causes some division also. On the other hand, I have worked with some very fine and talented lady musicians who were top notch. They let every one know right out of the gate that they were there for music and nothing more. These worked out the best, and resulted in some life long friendships. I HATE it when a group of musicians has to act like a pack of dogs when women are concerned, but I guess it's a guy thing. I once knew a bass player who was around 55/60 who was ALWAYS slobbering over some young girl in the crowd. I asked him once why he bothered. I said "even if somebody decides on you, what are ya gonna do?? Sooner or later yer gonna have to talk to her". He replied he was not looking for conversation. Ha ha...that was that. Anyway, just hang on. Sooner or later something will open up for you. Music is/can be a really ruff biz, even when it needs not to be.
Are there a lot of bands in your area???

Jaclyn Jones · Post by **Jaclyn Jones** » 11 Apr 2010 5:00 am

You would think that in Houston that country would be predominant. There are lot of bands but a bunch are screamers or rock/blues. I will find something or start a group. There have been a few calls after I added "female" to the text. My husband thinks it's funny and so do I.

Roual Ranes · Post by **Roual Ranes** » 11 Apr 2010 5:33 am

A couple of months ago, I had a friend that going to Houston for a visit and wanted to know where to hear some country picking. I asked for info on the forum and only got one reply. You would think that the area would have a lot going on. Sort of a sad situation.

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