Don't Know What To Do

Skip Ellis · Post by **Skip Ellis** » 18 Apr 2009 9:02 am

I think I need some advice from you folks on the forum - you're the only ones who might appreciate my dilemna and have a solution. I apologize in advance for laying all this out, but here goes.

I'm real close to just selling off all my equipment and just quitting. I've already backed out of a lead playing job this week and I'm getting ready to turn down a permanent steel gig with an established band. They advertise as being strictly country, but they don't play a single shuffle! I've been out of the bar scene for many years and don't want to go back, plus I just can't stand to hear myself play anymore on guitar or steel. I finished a 'Patsy Cline' gig at the end of February and haven't had my steel out of the case since. For a gig that I have always enjoyed playing, I couldn't wait for it to be over this time. Not sure what my problem is. Maybe I just shouldn't do it anymore.

I would think being retired and in good health would be the perfect time to get out and play and make some money, but I'm really thinking of tossing the whole shootin' match and taking up macrame or something.

Thanks for listening. Any comments greatly welcomed and appreciated. Anybody else had this problem?

Robert Thomas · Post by **Robert Thomas** » 18 Apr 2009 9:10 am

Hi Skip
sorry to hear about your burn-out.
I do have a suggestion that might help relight the fire for the love of steel guitar and that is, if you can play a bunch of numbers from start to finish take your outfit and volunteer to play for the residents of some nursing homes, they will love you no matter what you do and you will feel good again about your love for making music that other people will appreciate. For some reason it works both ways.
Best to you!
Bob Thomas

chris ivey · Post by **chris ivey** » 18 Apr 2009 9:22 am

might as well quit if you want. sell your stuff cheap so someone else can benefit from this!

Rick Barnhart · Post by **Rick Barnhart** » 18 Apr 2009 9:27 am

Jeeze Chris, hope you were only joking. Skip most of the time, when you don't know what to do, it's best just to do nothing. Take a break, a vacation. You're far too talented to just hang it up.

Ron ! · Post by **Ron !** » 18 Apr 2009 9:47 am

might as well quit if you want. sell your stuff cheap so someone else can benefit from this!

I don't think that that was the advice Skip was looking for Chris.Like Rick said...."I hope you were only joking".

Ron

P.S
Some good advice there Robert.

Brian Kurlychek · Post by **Brian Kurlychek** » 18 Apr 2009 10:47 am

If you do sell your stuff, make sure the flippers don't get it

Lee Baucum · Post by **Lee Baucum** » 18 Apr 2009 10:55 am

Unless you need the money, I wouldn't sell the equipment until I was absolutely positive I was done. Give it some time.

It would be very expensive to go back and purchase new gear, should you decide you want to start playing again.

Lee

CrowBear Schmitt · Post by **CrowBear Schmitt** » 18 Apr 2009 11:17 am

skip, i'd lay back & take it easy while the bad weather blows over
no need to sell yer gear .......................yet
in due time, you'll hook up w: some good people, if you really wish to continue
it's a tango bro', not a watusi.....

Ivan Funk · Post by **Ivan Funk** » 18 Apr 2009 11:26 am

I say keep it set in a corner with a cover on it. You'll start to loathe seeing it there and one day you'll sit down and play it just to make it stop talking to you.

Robert Thomas · Post by **Robert Thomas** » 18 Apr 2009 11:28 am

Hi skip again, don't sell your equipment.
Here is another benefit of what I suggested in playing for nursing homes. When you go and entertain the people, ask for things that they would like to hear and there will be requests for some numbers you don't play or know. You now have new inspiration to learn something new, so it will inspire you to try and learn something new and you are doing it just for someone very special, someone who will appreciate everything you do for them. Remember the name of that person who made the request and then announce you are playing it especially for that person when you go back. These pepople will not criticize you or belittle you in any way, but will only enjoy everything you are doing just for them. The rewards are worth more money than anyone could ever pay.
I hope that you will give it a try, I know that it will reenergize you and your love for making music that others can enjoy including yourself.
Be forewarned, doing this bears no resemblance to playing for the bar crowd.

Rick Campbell · Post by **Rick Campbell** » 18 Apr 2009 11:36 am

Skip,

I know that feeling first hand. So called country bands, that play rock or new country, which is about the same thing as 80's rock. You're sitting there and would give anything if somebody would do something like "Another Bridge To Burn".

I play a lot of fiddle and I turn down more shows than I play because it's obvious to me that they're just calling because they want a fiddler to do square dances, and the rest of what they do is the new country and rock. I don't mind playing some of that, if there's some good stuff mixed in too. I used to hate to say "no" and ended up feeling like you stated before the night was over. I finally got to the point that I just tell them "I don't think I'm interested" no excuses, no prior commitments, nothing. It feels good to take control that way.

Playing music when you don't want to is the hardest work I've ever done. I'd rather clean the sewer with my own toothbrush.

What's worked for me to satisify my addiction is to do some home recordings of what I want to do, the way I think it should be done........considering my limitations of talent. If people like it, that's good, if not, that's okay too.

Every now and then something comes up that get's me back in the mood. Best of luck to you!

CrowBear Schmitt · Post by **CrowBear Schmitt** » 18 Apr 2009 12:18 pm

Eddie Lane · Post by **Eddie Lane** » 18 Apr 2009 12:46 pm

Don't sell your equipment. Think of how much time that you have put into learning to play. If the band is not playing what you like to play, find some guys that like to play shuffles and start a new band. If you are not having fun playing with a band it is time to make a change.....but don't sell out.

Edward Meisse · Post by **Edward Meisse** » 18 Apr 2009 12:51 pm

I'm an amatuer. Since I do a few gigs a year, some people generously call me a semi pro. But between my full time job and playing my guitar during every spare moment I do burn out from time to time. I put the guitar away until I feel like playing it again. I think selling your equipment is the worst idea in the world. I would pack it all up and put it away where I couln't even see it. I would go about my other business, if any. And the guitar would call to me again eventually.

Ed Javner · Post by **Ed Javner** » 18 Apr 2009 1:27 pm

Skip, if you sell out and quit, you might end up being in a nurcing home. Without 100 lbs. of steel to haul around, you'll get so out of shape, somebody will have to play for you. It's much more fun to be the "playee" then the "listenee" Best paying job around is a nurcing home!

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 18 Apr 2009 1:56 pm

Just quietly put it away for awhile - you don't have to sell it. My gear has been languishing in storage for years by choice because I won't play for $50 a night here in the 'new millennium,' or work in so-called country bands where the steel is just a novelty. $:\$

Doc Hope · Post by **Doc Hope** » 18 Apr 2009 2:00 pm

Skip
DON'T SELL if you don't have to,I've been down that road many times,I wish I had some guitars back that I let go,just take a little break & it won't be long until you can't wait to get back on that steel.The old saying IT'S IN YOUR BLOOD.Take care.

Doc Hope

Bill Dobkins · Post by **Bill Dobkins** » 18 Apr 2009 2:27 pm

Skip, I feel your pain. I've been there. I was so sick of playing music (six string)I couldn't stand to even talk about It. I hung it up for 10 years with no regrets. Until I go involved in steel guitar I could care less if I never played again.
My advice is hang it up until you start missing music and want to play for one reason, and thats for the pure enjoyment of it.

Tommy Gibbons · Post by **Tommy Gibbons** » 18 Apr 2009 2:49 pm

Skip,
I'm not much for giving advice, but, there may be other issues that are causing your disgust with music. It's a major part of your life, and has been for a long time. If you're new to retirement, there may be a little depression involved with the new and different life-style. Talk to other retired musicians, they may have gone through the same frustration you are.

Good luck and the very best to you and yours,
Tommy

admin · Post by **b0b** » 18 Apr 2009 3:07 pm

Sounds like it's time to discover your own music, instead of letting other people tell you what to play. Just a thought.

I've been in "been there, done that" mode for a few years now. I'm not real interested in reliving the past. I've played my best "Johnny B. Goode" and "Crazy Arms", and I don't see the point in trying to do it all again. Like Rick Nelson said, "If memories were all I sang, I rather drive a truck."

Music is an infinite subject. You don't have to keep playing the same stuff, over and over. You can take it in any direction, with or without other musicians. You can perform in public, in your living room or in headphones. There is literally no limit to the varieties of music that you can create, if you want to.

It's hard for me to imagine quitting. I could sell most of my stuff and go introspective, but I can't totally stop playing. It's too much a part of who I am.

Scott Hiestand · Post by **Scott Hiestand** » 18 Apr 2009 4:19 pm

Skip

First off, I would, as others have said, take a break, but DON'T SELL! Sooner or later...you'll get that nagging feeling again, I'd almost bet on it.

To expand on what Bob said, I had a somewhat similar situation to you...

I am as well a lover of traditional Country but, for a number of reasons, got fed up with what I was involved in, so I "opted out". After sitting around for a year or so moping, I placed an ad and low and behold, found myself hooked up with a bunch of "young guys" playing "Alt. country". It has actually been a really nice switch for me, I like much (but not all) of what we do and it is forcing me into thinking and playing in different ways. I still love my George/Merle/Buck but right now, I wouldn't dream of making a change.

Also, there's nothing wrong with just chilling - playing by yourself to recordings....learning some new tab or solos, in other words just having fun with the steel with no pressure to "do" anything in particular. Do only what you want to do with it when you want, no more and no less, and let time sort things out.

Obviously there's more to life than music, but I wouldn't deep-6 it all. I don't know of anyone who quit steel and a year or two later said "Gee, I'm glad I did that"!

Brett Day · Post by **Brett Day** » 18 Apr 2009 4:26 pm

Skip, I think the best thing to do is take a break, but don't stop. This way, if you want to go back to steel, you can.

Brett

Ben Hoare · Post by **Ben Hoare** » 18 Apr 2009 5:09 pm

Skip Ive been through the same thing and got to the point where I had to take a break.It led me back to the start and why I started playing.Listening to music I love and trying to create some.Id worked on so many other peoples stuff I didn't really enjoy, it was becoming a chore and showed.Some people can do that and switch off,I cant.Id sit on it for a while and go back and listen to some stuff you really love and try to recapture why you play.I just recorded my first solo album and loved it .I dont know your situation but if the tanks drained refill it.Its not fingersports..
Works for me.
Ben

W. C. Edgar · Post by **W. C. Edgar** » 18 Apr 2009 5:30 pm

Just stop for a while and keep your rig! After a few months you'll look at the world different and a REAL COUNTRY job will come your way. Hang in there my friend, I've been in the same situation and haven't played steel live except for doing these You Tube things on the old Sho-Bud for going on two years for the same reason. Thats why I started being the vocalist.
WC Edgar

www.wcedgar.com
www.myspace.com/wcedgar
www.youtube.com/wcedgar

Post by **Dave Mudgett** » 18 Apr 2009 5:55 pm

Skip - I would not remotely presume to tell you what you should do. But I, and probably many if not most of us, have gone through periods of abject frustration with playing live music, and even playing at all. Still, for me and most of the people I know, it generally passes. The live music thing can be very, very frustrating at times - sometimes it just seems as if nobody gives a damn, and all they want is a party backdrop of a particular type. And many times, that is the cold reality.

But for me, it comes down to playing for my own reasons - simply because I love music. I play gigs still. From an external view - crowd, money, or whatever - sometimes they're cool and sometimes they're not. But I resolved quite some time ago to focus on working with people who were on my wavelength, regardless of money or anything else. I keep on finding that people like this are out there. Sometimes the money is completely pathetic, but I don't care, I have a good day job. I don't even feel bad if I let the other guys (who are trying to make a living at this) take the dough right now - it would just complicate my life.

With this attitude can come power, as Rick Campbell mentioned above. I stay positive, but if what someone is asking me to do doesn't work for me, I'm just straightforward about it - "Hey, that's not really something I'm interested in. But if you ever get to the point where you'd like to do (list things I want to do), I'd like to hear from you." It's amazing how that stuff sometimes gets stored away and then weeks, months, or even years down the road, a call comes in.

Another thing - have you considered starting and leading your own band? I've had several over the years. It's a PITA, since you have to book gigs, deal with logistics and sometimes clueless club managers, the buck stops here, and all that. But you call the shots, and it can be a lot of fun to "do it my way".

So as a hedge, I wouldn't sell the gear. You'll have plenty of time for that if you go years and don't use it. But that's just me.

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