Funny Stories - "guest singers" -

Landon Dodd · Post by **Landon Dodd** » 11 Mar 2009 3:03 pm

I thought I had learned my lesson on this but evidently not. We were doing a gig in San Angelo a month ago and had some friends come out to see us. Three or four of them singers/musicians so I asked them to do a song or two. No big deal. As the last guy was leaving the stage I saw a "frat boy" type talking to the steel player. He tells me the guy wants to sing, and in good fun, welcomed him on stage beer and all. He asks to do Amarillo by Morning in C# or something and after assuring him it was in D we kicked the tune off. What followed next was wrong words, horrible timing and major pitch problems. I helped him throught the rest of the song and he leaves the stage. Knowing he was in ear shot, but thinking he was too drunk to get the joke, I crack on his singing a bit and we started another tune. When I look to my right, I see him walking on the stage. He proceeds to chest bump me and ask if I was making fun of him? So with a guitar strapped on and in mid song this guy wants to fight me. I said a few choice words that detailed what I would do to him if he didn't leave the stage and so he left. What a deal. I never thought I would get threatened while on stage at a gig. Here's to Travis in San Angelo, possibly the worst singer I've ever heard. Let me hear the funny ones. LD

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 12 Mar 2009 6:26 am

At Cowboys in Myrtle Beach, this guy comes up, wants to sing, insists that he is a "studio backup singer."
His friends vouch that he is a great singer. O.K.
what do you want to sing? "Way Love Goes" by Merle Haggard. "What key?" "Indignantly says "The key the records in". So we kick it off. At the end of the kickoff, he stands there like a deer in the headlights. I nod to him to go ahead. With the mike right under his chin and thru a zillion watts of
P.A., he goes "Oh no, I shouldn't have done this, I'm so embarassed. this is horrible." We play thru a
verse, he puts the mike down, slinks off the stage and out the door with his friends.

We see this over and over, where people sing along with the radio and think this makes them "a singer".
When they get up with a band, they're on totally unfamiliar ground.

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 12 Mar 2009 6:32 am

Oh yeah, another really good one. At a club in Virginia, this guy gets up to sing. We announce his name and unbeknowest to him, there is a repo man in the audience who recognizes the name. When the guy gets through singing, he learns that his car is being hauled off. The guy was so personable and the situation so weird, that the band gave him cab fare.

Ken Lang · Post by **Ken Lang** » 12 Mar 2009 7:39 pm

This one is kinda opposite of what normally happens. A girl comes up and wants us to have her husband sing. "He sounds just like Dean Martin."
We're thinking, Oh sure, another wanna be. Told her no.

She comes up several times. Finally, just to get her off our back, we say OK.

Dean Martin Incarnate. He sounded better than Dean could sound. The whole place just stopped. Stopped to listen. It was tough to stand or finish the night with our feet in our mouth.

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 12 Mar 2009 8:36 pm

I'm sure most of you like myself have suffered through this many times,sometimes you get a pleasent surprize,[NOT OFTEN].One time had a trio,we worked in this hotel[lounge lizard days],every thur.night this womens singles club would book the room.Of course a lot of them wanted to get up and sing,we were being payed pretty good so we let them come up and do their thing,MOST REALLY SUCKED]One night this very petite,shy,little lady asked me on break if she could sing a song,I said sure honey everyone else is,Jeepers,she blew the roof off with The Way We Were,and Stand by Your Man,Tried to keep her on stage,she sang her two songs,left,never saw her again,you NEVER know.but believe me this is RARE. DYKBC.

Ben Lawson · Post by **Ben Lawson** » 13 Mar 2009 1:26 am

I had an experience like Ken's. This guy came in to a club I was working at in Indy back in the '70's.
He asked to sing and the band leader kept putting him off. We finally let him come up on the last set. He sound so much like Merle Haggard that the crowd didn't want him to get down. We let him sing the entire set. We never saw him again.

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 13 Mar 2009 9:45 am

Another lady I remember about a year ago was one that someone asked us if she could sing a song,talked to her on break,she asked if we knew Farewell Party,I told her sure we knew it,She said I'll do it in G,after the steel ride,modulate to A,when she said that knew we had a winner,and she WAS.How many times have you had a lady wanting to sing Crazy,you ask [what key] I don't know what you mean,she will say,the guitar player will play several different chords,finnaly think you have it,then she won't even be CLOSE. DYKBC.

Roger Rettig · Post by **Roger Rettig** » 13 Mar 2009 9:57 am

Listen to the Everly Brothers' record of 'The Girl That Sang The Blues'.....

Ellis Miller · Post by **Ellis Miller** » 13 Mar 2009 1:20 pm

This is not necessarily funny, but I have heard "You Gave Me a Mountain" absolutely butchered in every key and tempo known to mankind.

Bo Borland · Post by **Bo Borland** » 13 Mar 2009 5:37 pm

It's not funny but I had a guy sit in, fall over and die once.

Anytime someone wants to sing and doesn't know what key.. or says "it goes like this" it's a train wreck gettin ready to happen.

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 13 Mar 2009 5:55 pm

If it's a karaoke [dirty word] singer,if you don't play it exactly like the track they have sang it to a thousand times,it WILL be a wreck. DYKBC.

Dave Harmonson · Post by **Dave Harmonson** » 13 Mar 2009 7:48 pm

I've seen all kinds over the years. There was this one guy who would come for a talent show we were hosting back in the early 80's who had absolutely no sense of rhythm. Not just dropping or adding beats, but completely arhythmic. He would watch us play thru the week and learn a song for our set list and try to sing it with us. He'd ask for a cue for when to come in and the moment you nod he'd start to sing so we'd try to time the cue with the downbeat. What's more, he'd bring his boom box to record himself and set in a table next to the dance floor. As you know those built-in condenser mics pick up everything from the crowd and stage, so he'd go home and hear people saying things like "man this guy stinks" and a few other choice criticisms. He finally gave it up and didn't show anymore.

On the other hand, I remember a gig in the early 70's in a kind of hippy country band I was with in a pretty much rowdy bar and early in the first set we were kind of in a lull thinking of what to play next and a middle-aged well dressed lady came in the front door and just belts out the first two notes of "Satin Sheets". It just rang out thru the whole bar so we said come on up here. She walks on stage and says "key of C boys" so we kicked it off and she ripped it up and brought the house down and then went right back out the door. Never saw her again, and the people there in the bar thought we had arranged the whole thing, partly because we were known to pull some funny stuff now and then, but this was totally spontaneous and blew us away as much as the crowd.

The bad ones way outnumber the good though.

Bo Borland · Post by **Bo Borland** » 14 Mar 2009 10:20 am

There was this one guy who would come for a talent show we were hosting back in the early 80's who had absolutely no sense of rhythm. Not just dropping or adding beats, but completely arhythmic.

Sounds like it could have been Nelly Wilson

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 14 Mar 2009 12:43 pm

One of my pet peeves is a counterfiet Elvis. Nothing wrong with someone singing an Elvis song [IF THEY CAN SING] Some of these guys think they ARE Elvis,One night was playing a club,this guy showed up,unnounced and UNINVITED. Stepped on the bandstand,had the white rhinestone jumpsuit,the dark glasses,the whole nine yards,Made it plain he wanted to sing,[ COMPLETE NUT],The bandleader said ok we will let you do ONE. Can't describe how terrible he was,then wanted to do another,the old boy playing bass with us was one of these guys that did'nt care about this PC crap,He stepped fordward and told the guy,Do you know the ONE thing I hate worse than Elvis ? Is a half-assed Elvis impersonator,now GET OFF this stage,Elvis DID leave the building,never saw that one again. DYKBC.

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 14 Mar 2009 9:17 pm

Who was it that said, "If there was any justice,
Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead?"

Charles Davidson · Post by **Charles Davidson** » 14 Mar 2009 9:58 pm

I like Elvis,I was a teen when he started,but I'm not one of these Elvis fanatics,Really like his early Sun things best,but for some reason I don't like to hear other people do his tunes,no matter how good they are,it's just not the same for me.I mentioned on another post Hank Snow was my hero,I CAN'T stand to hear someone sing I'm Moving On,That was Hanks song and it just does'nt sound right to me if some else does it.[just my opinion] The same goes for El paso,That belonged to Marty, DYKBC.