Most Comical Things Seen When Performing

[Jim Cohen]

Well, that will teach him to make a request! The creep!

[Wayne Franco]

The Banjo player sat on the front of the stage with a rubber chicken attached to a bicycle air pump(the tall kind) attached to the butt end of the chicken. He secured the legs of the chicken under his leg and put a microphone to the chicken. He played the Star Spangled Banner on that thing. Pumping like hell. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[Donny Hinson]

Back when I was quite young, a slightly-past middle aged woman proceeded to do a "bump and grind" right in front of my steel when I was playing a Hawaiian song at the old Holland House, in West Baltimore. I was tryin' to be nice by just ignoring her, and when I finished, she leaned over and said to me "Sonny, would you like to see me take off my clothes?", I just shook my head and said "No thanks, M'am...I never did care much for antique shows!" A nearby open mike picked it all up, and the whole club erupted in laughter and cat-calls!

Needless to say, the woman was not amused.

No sensayuma, I guess.

[Drew Howard]

You know yer playing a rough joint when your dad gets into a fight defending your girlfriend's honor.

[Pete Conklin]

Since I'm brand new to PSG, I don't have any humorous giggin' stories...but I got this semi-funny tale...

Doing stand-up comedy(it was my job in the 80's and 90's) one night in Bilioxi, MS. Before the show started, I notice that the spot light was pointed at the PA speaker beside the stage instead of shining on the mike. I called the manager over and asked why he had the spot light on the speaker? He looked at me like I was stupid and in a deeeep southern drawl he said "Well, ats whar the sound comes aout."

[George Kimery]

Our bass player had just taken a huge sip of water from a cup at the exact time the MC said "Everybody remember to come back next week to hear Dude Rainwater". This is his real name and I learned that he is (or was) a barber in a local town. Upon hearing "Dude Rainwater" it struck our bass player as really funny and he spurted out a huge mouthfull of water. He really spurted it out a long ways. I think he was trying to keep it off his bass guitar. Everybody in the band saw it happen, then the band was so tickled they could hardly play. The singer, being up front, had no idea what was so funny.

[Terry Winter]

Many years ago when I was about 17 I played with a group consisting of two sax,one trombone,drums, piano and me playing bass. We were playing at a dine and dance evening in a local town. During a polka a couple came dancing by the stage and as he twisted her for a turn one of her B**bs popped out.
We were all facing the dance floor except the piano player who was at a right angle. At that monemt the song fell apart and the only one playing was the piano player, who after a few seconds looked around to see where the band was. Needless to say the lady corrected herself and he missed the whole show. Priceless! Terry

[Billy Tonnesen]

While playing at the "Skylight" in Compton, Ca. a young couple quite in love kept dancing in front of the bandstand for all to see their devotion to each other. Later on they disappeared and when they finally reappeared, it was quite apparent the young lady had her blouse on inside out. The whole place was cracking up and it took some time before the couple realized what we were laughing about.

[Ray Harrison]

Lots of them, but this one stands out.

Back around 72-73 when streaking was big, we had a couple of girls streak this club, the LandMark in San Diego.(We called it the LandMine)
Anyway, we decide to give them a trophy since they were the first to do it. After they got the trophy, they decide to do it again. They recruited another girl, who wore glasses.
Now this club has two steel vertical poles down the middle of the dance floor.
They got rid of everything and came in with nothing on but their birthday suit. They come tearing in thru the front door and the first two did well, the third and most blind ran right into the steel pole. Laid herself out cold as a wedge on the dance floor. A male patron got off his barstool and gently covered her with his jacket.
She was uninjured except for the temp. knockout.

[Jack Francis]

Back in the eighties, I was hired to play lead guitar for a band in Petaluma, CA. I didn't know anyone in the band.

As we were playing a very attractive woman was paying a lot of attention to me from the dance floor...after a few songs she came to my side of the stage, being followed by her date. She asked if I remembered her and I told her that I didn't...she smiled REAL big and said, "Sure you don't..don't
you remember us being in the back seat of a Buick together?"

I assured her that she was mistaking me for someone else...as she was laughing and telling me that she sure remembered us...I told her that I was happily married, had 6 kids and surely would have remembered something like that, but I don't do that kinda thing.
She just laughed and walked away...towards the end of the set she smiled and waved as she left the club.

I sat down at the band's wives table, not knowing any one... and the singers wife start talking to me and with a big smile said, "SOOO, You know my girlfriend REAL well?" I repeated my comments to her friend and she winked and said, "Sure!" Seeing as how I was getting nowhere with my side of the story, I just resigned myself to the situation, and told her..."Well just tell her that If I wasn't any good, please don't spread it around!"

[Terry Watts]

A few years back I was playing at a local club in the Akron area. It was just a week or so before Christmas and the place was packed. We had just finished our first set and left the stage. I saw the lead player and bass player stop and point to omething on the floor. They were laughing as they approached the stage, and the bass player announced over the mic, "To the person who lost your teeth, we just found them o the floor." A womoan who was sitting at the bar jumped up and ran to the stage and grabbed her teeth and put them back in her mouth. The place went nuts! My wife and her sisiter still get a big kick 9out of this.

[Jim Cohen]

A woman who was sitting at the bar jumped up and ran to the stage and grabbed her teeth and put them back in her mouth.

Eeuuuwww!

[JB Arnold]

We were at a party at the Elks Lodge in Brighton-it wa a private affair, but there were some Elks there that I recognized-but it was fairly rowdy crowd, and they had been drinking it up way before we even set up.

One very attractive young lady was pretty looped and was flashing her chest at everyone at the bar everytime they bought her a shot.

Now, no one in the band knew that at the start of the 3rd set except our lead guitar player. So when she walked up and asked for a Polka, we all thought she as just some Elks member's daughter.

She:"Will you guys play a polka for us?"

Joe (our front guy): "sure, got a favorite?"

Dan (Lead Guitar player): "If you want us to play a polka for you you'll have to show us your boobs."

We all went into complete shock. I thought Joe would keel over and die-I almost did. I couldn't imagine how drunk Dan must have been to say such a thing. Then we all got another shock when she said "Oh all right" and pulled off her shirt!

Dan didn't tell us till much later that night that he had already seen her flashing the bar and knew what would happen.

We play that place about 3 times a year, but we've not seen her since....

JB

[Stuart Legg]

Bo Legg’s defining lick came in a theater in Branson Mo. Not a gig to brag or worry about just a one nighter.
Dillon (not Bob) was singing a George Strait song “The Chair” and as you know the song lyrics start off with "Excuse me I think you’ve got my chair”.
Dillon always paused too long after he sang “Excuse me” so Bo without much thought as usual ripped the bar up the fat string on the C6 neck and made it sound like a big fart.
“Excuse Me” wrrrooommmp.
There was a moment of dead silence while Dillon looked around at Bo in shocked disbelief and Bo looked back with that ”I can’t believe I just did that” expression. Then the Band and the audience erupted into laughter and it shut the song down.